Suddenly, Micah piped up and said in a goofy way, "There are three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and suffering!"
I was absolutely stunned (and slightly amused, I admit!). Where DO they get these things?
Knowing that he probably heard it somewhere, and knowing that he couldn't have gotten that idea from one of us, I started querying him to find the source of such a comment.
"I don't know. I heard it on TV or something."
The kids don't watch a ton of live TV, so all day long I kept asking him if he remembered where he had heard that statement.
Finally it came to him-- "America's Funniest Home Videos"!
They've only seen that show a few times, but that one line stuck. I'm so thankful Micah got the joke and knew it wasn't true. Even at his young age, he is already beginning to understand that being married is a good thing- a blessed thing- and not a life-sentence of suffering and unhappiness. Hard times and suffering will come at some point to every marriage, to be sure, but marriage itself is a gift, not a curse.
Now Paul and I have even more reason to make sure we love one another in such a way that the kids would never believe that one of the "rings" of marriage was suffering. By God's grace, may our family and marriage be marked by these "rings" instead:
sharing,
remembering,
admiring,
adventuring,
adoring,
anchoring,
caring,
savoring,
persevering,
ministering,
cheering,
maturing,
considering,
endearing,
and
and
enduring.
Oh, the ways God teaches me truths because of that one other ring:
MOTHERING!
MOTHERING!
2 comments:
Actually Micah was right. :) Suffering is a ring of marriage. Brent talked about it a few weeks ago. We have had a great deal of suffering in our marriage, and it has given us some great teachable moments with our littles. It has been one of our "rings", and God has proven His grace and faithfulness to us while we wear it. It's actually one ring I would never trade, because it has made us who we are now as a couple, and who we are in Christ. :) It's not my favorite ring, and we do wear all the others you mentioned, and we love each other fiercely. I think I love Andy more today because of what we have been through together. Just some thoughts. :) I think you HAVE suffered as a couple (this year to be sure). If not, you will. So you're actually wearing that ring too girlfriend. :)
Dear Kathy, thanks for your comments! I wholeheartedly agree with both you and Pastor Brent that all marriages will wear the ring of suffering at some point, (or even for an extended period of time). We've certainly endured plenty of suffering and hardship during the years of our marriage, and like you and Andy, it has made us so much stronger. I'm thankful for the ways God has grown our marriage as we've worn and continue to wear that hard ring.
I was so glad that God providentially allowed Micah to hear that joke on AFV, because it did give me a chance to talk with the kids about these exact things-- that suffering will be part of every marriage, but it won't be the only thing. I think the world loves to imply, as the joke suggests, that marriage is equivalent to a life-sentence of suffering, but I want my children to see marriage itself as a blessing and not a curse. I guess his hearing that other perspective gave us a good teachable moment! Thanks again for adding your wise thoughts!
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