Paul called home one day last week to check in with me, and he asked how my day was going. I said, "I feel rudderless today. Absolutely rudderless." Then it dawned on me why I felt that way. I had stayed in bed later than usual and then one of my kids got up earlier than usual. I wasn't able to have the quiet time with God that has become like my very morning food over the last two years. No wonder I felt rudderless. The unfinished, most-important thing in my day was hanging over my head. I hadn't acknowledged the One that directs my steps, so I was completely lost. What a realization.
When Paul deployed, I very quickly learned that if I was going to have any joy at all through those twelve long months, I was going to have to start each day giving everything over to God. It became my habit and something that I actually look forward to each morning. What I didn't realize, though, is how much I had come to depend on that time. It is my "breakfast" of solitude, reflection, prayer, and listening to what God wants for my day (although it is always done with a cup of coffee in my hand!)
Sometimes the baby-steps of progress in my Christian life are so imperceptible that I hardly see them. What a grace that God would allow me to see how He has brought me along in my own personal walk.
I started the day rudderless. I ended the day encouraged and thankful. Onward I plod-- by God's grace and for His glory.
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