10 years ago...

...my prayer was answered.  On March 27, 1999, I sat on a snowy mountainside at dawn in Buena Vista, Colorado, as Paul knelt down and asked me to be his bride.  Absolutely no regrets.

Dear God, I prayed, all unafraid

(as we're inclined to do)

I do not need a handsome man

but let him be like You;

I do not need one big and strong

nor yet so very tall,

nor need he be some genius,

or wealthy, Lord, at all;

but let his head be high, dear God,

and let his eye be clear,

his shoulders straight, whate'er his state,

whate'er his earthly sphere;

and let his face have character,

a ruggedness of soul,

and let his whole life show, dear God,

a singleness of goal;

then when he comes

(as he will come)

with quiet eyes aglow,

I'll understand that he's the man

I prayed for long ago.

                       --Ruth Bell Graham

"Forward-Fearing"

I spent some time talking with two friends yesterday, one of whom was another Army wife whose husband is deploying to Iraq very soon.  We started talking about how easy it is to imagine things that could happen in the future.  Once we begin imagining these things, then our thoughts become filled with fear and worry-- what I will call "forward-fearing".  One friend, Angela, brought up something that I had never really pondered before, but it has been on my mind ever since.

When we forward-fear, we are imagining what could happen and our reaction to it, but we imagine it completely based on our own ability to handle a situation.  One of my favorite passages is Hebrews 4:15-16-- "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.  Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."(NASV)  One giant problem with forward-fearing is that it occurs in the mind absent the grace and help that God would be giving us if we were really going through that situation.  God tells us in those verses that in Him we will find grace to help in the time of need, not in the time we imagine a "what-if".  We are to take no thought for tomorrow, so forward-fearing is a sin and a lack of faith in GOD's ability to handle whatever situation comes into our lives.

This has been a great truth to digest, because it is easy to let my mind run away, especially right now with my husband gone.  However, I am commanded to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.  Three truths stop my "forward-fearing".  First, nothing happens outside of God's control of even the tiniest details.  Second,  He will never leave me or forsake me.  And third, whatever comes, I can draw near with confidence to find mercy and grace in any situation or need.  I won't go through anything without the grace of God sustaining me.

What a great blessing to ponder today! 

Eleven weeks from today...

...we will drive to Fort Benning to meet up with the love of my earthly life!  Only 77 days left on this journey!!!!  God has been so faithful, and I've tasted His sweetness like never before!

The adventure won't end in 77 days, however!  A whole new life awaits us.  The Lord has shown us clearly that our time in the Army is drawing to a close, so when Paul returns to America, he will be getting out and looking for a job in the civilian world! 

The plan as it stands right now is for the kids and I to drive to Georgia to pick him up on May 30th or 31st.  We will immediately drive to Orlando for a family vacation, including time at Disney.  Some people in our church own a condo down there that we are renting for ten days!  I absolutely cannot wait!

Paul is technically stationed out of Fort Lewis in Seattle, so after our vacation, he has to get to Fort Lewis to out-process out of the Army.  When faced with another separation, we made a big decision.  We will all drive together from Orlando to Seattle so that we can stay together.  It should be the road trip of a lifetime!  Paul bought me a Garmin for all of my traveling (a very gracious thing for my navigationally-intelligent husband to do for his poor, easily-flustered wife),  and the other day he was joking that when we input the address for Seattle as we leave Orlando, the Garmin will just flash a message that says, "Are you people crazy?!"  My only sadness with this plan is that Paul isn't here to see the looks on people's faces when I mention that we are driving from Orlando to Seattle with four kids!  It is priceless! (The kids ARE good little travelers!) 

So that is the plan.  Once we finish up in Seattle, we will make the long drive home and start our new life together.  To say I am looking foward to it is the understatement of the century! Oh, to be a family again!

Here are some recent pictures of the kids:  

Josiah was trying to show his muscles!

Sarah decided to cook one day while listening to some tunes.  

She had my ipod shuffle hooked to the top of her tights under her dress!

Micah is the lego king in this family!

Isaac routinely sticks his sword cover in his pants

 to help with the quick draw!

God continues to meet our needs and give rest when I feel too weary to continue.  Paul's mom came for about 10 days, and it was a tremendous blessing to have her company and help.  She even painted murals of a castle and sailing ship on our basement playroom walls.  What a gift!