Julia Child I am Not

It was a rough week in our household.  We seemed to be attacked from all directions, and I am very thankful that it is Friday!

To top it all off, I had some particular cooking struggles this week.  Lest anyone should ever get the mistaken impression that I have it all together, let me set the record straight!

To begin with, I'm not a connoisseur of the culinary arts.  Cooking is a task that I gladly do to care for my family, but it's not a love of mine-- mainly because I hate cleaning up the mess from a large cooking project.  We've also struggled with food allergies, so that wipes out roughly 67.4538% of all recipes.  I enjoy some new recipes from time to time, but I am not a chef at heart.   What I make for my family is fairly simple and usually fills up the tummy-- or should I say, six tummies.

Anyway, the following is a recap of our incredible unusual dinners this week.

Monday-- Menu:  beef rice-a-roni, loaf of Italian bread, and salad.  Reality: the boxes of beef rice-a-roni turned out to be chicken rice-a-roni, which I didn't realize until I had browned the ground beef and was ready to dump in the seasonings.  We ended up having the delectable strange combination of taco meat with tortillas, chicken rice-a-roni with no chicken in it, a loaf of Italian bread, and salad.  (I rescued the browned ground beef with a packet of taco seasoning thanks to Josiah's suggestion.)

Tuesday- really rough day.  Menu: hamburgers on the grill with chips and veggies.  Reality:  The beef wasn't thawed, so I put it in water to speed up the process not realizing that there was a hole in the plastic.  Soggy, smushy, water-logged ground beef met me an hour later, and after sobbing at the kitchen sink, I was lovingly rescued by my husband who took us on a surprise ride to get dinner out instead.

Wednesday- Menu: Spaghetti with meat sauce and salad.  I'm still wondering what happened to the other jar of sauce that I am sure was in the cupboard.  Instead of having meat with our sauce, we had sauce with our meat (over noodles that were two different varieties).  The homemade garlic bread would have been great too-- if I hadn't run out of butter.  No Italian cooking TV gigs for me anytime soon.

Thursday- Menu: Chicken and dumplings.  This one actually made it to the table.  I'm not sure, but the sauce may have been slightly scorched when I was trying to start laundry while cooking dinner.  I don't always multi-task very well, but once in awhile we need clean undies and socks to go with our chicken and dumplings.

So what's for dinner tonight?

Paul is cooking.  Grilling, I think.  Maybe hamburgers, but I haven't gone anywhere near the fridge to see.  I don't want to jinx it.

Julia Child I most definitely am not.

Reflections On Two Years With Only One Car...

One bright, sunny Saturday in June of 2010, we had a terrible car accident.  A girl pulled out in front of our van just as we went through a green light, and we had no time to stop before we broad-sided her.  Our van was totaled, but thankfully, none of us were seriously injured.

In order to purchase a new van, we decided to sell Paul's car and share one vehicle.  We figured that if we could even make it six months, it would be a big financial help.  At the time, I knew I was going to be the one to give up the use of the van most of the time, but Paul's flexible schedule meant that I could probably use it if I needed it.

The down-side was that the kids and I were unable to do many things that we wanted to do.  I just simply couldn't get them to sports leagues, ballet classes, and other activities.

I kept telling myself that I could make it for six months, but then the months turned into years, and I confess that I started to resent the situation.  Paul did everything he could to make sure I had a vehicle when I really needed it, but realistically, he needed to work.

Then last winter, the Lord began showing me that my resentment had turned into outright bitterness.  I would go to band concerts and other events for family or friends and then cry all the way home because our kids couldn't do those things.  I felt trapped and angry.

As the Lord convicted my heart about this awful sin of discontentment and anger, He also began showing me all that He had actually given us by taking our second car.  I began to see the ways He had blessed our family by drastically simplifying our life and schedule.

For example, sometime in the last two years I re-discovered that I love to ride my bike.  As soon as Isaac was off training wheels, we spent many afternoons riding all over our neighborhood.  We even watched the Lord miraculously provide bike locks this last summer, so we spent quite a few afternoons biking to the pool!

I also realized that we have read hundreds of books in the last two years.  If I had been out running around my town from activity to activity, we wouldn't have spent nearly as much time in the magical places we visited in our books.  An unexpected benefit of all the reading we've done is that all of my kids are now voracious readers themselves. This summer I was literally stunned to hear myself say, "You may not read for the rest of the day.  Please go play."  Who would have ever imagined that being homebound would play a huge part in their love of reading?

We've played countless board games and tromped through the woods.  (I have never loved nature like I do now.)  We've collected leaves and made muffins.  Oh, how I cherish those times-- happy times spent at home with my kids, enjoying their company, teaching them about botany and astronomy, and spending hours with Johnny Tremain and the Swiss Family Robinson.  I'm pretty sure I would have missed out on many of these things, because I have always struggled with being intentional about how I spend my time with them.

One other thing the Lord showed me is how much I had been over-committed outside of my home.  By taking away my vehicle, he also took away my ability to be too busy with other activities and commitments.  To be painfully honest, I'm not sure I would have learned such a lesson otherwise.  Those other things weren't wrong in themselves, but it was painful to realize that my husband, children, and home needed more of my undivided attention than they were getting.  Maybe it took a car accident and the loss of a vehicle to teach me a little about redeeming the time with this family-blessing that God has given me.

As we approached this fall, it was obvious that we were going to need a second car.  There were just too many schedule conflicts to share the one car anymore, so Paul leased a vehicle two weeks ago.

It has been an eye-opening change.  I made the funny realization this morning that my van isn't magically filling up with gas every so often.  The "ding" and gas light on the dashboard startled me!  I think I can count on one hand the times I put gas in the van in the last two years.

I'm now able to go where I want when I want, and to be honest, it's a bit of a wistful change.  Paul and I were forced to communicate and work together to share the one vehicle, and I hope we don't lose that.  I also hope I don't forget the lessons God taught me about my own heart and priorities.

My bike is still in the garage next to five other bikes, and there are some lovely fall days ahead.  If you can't reach me, I'm probably out tromping through the woods or riding on the bumpy path through the neighborhood golf course.  I have a mile-long list of books to read to the kids, and the blueberries we picked this summer are in the freezer waiting for their grand moment in a muffin.

Maybe the final lesson I learned here is that sometimes God is actually giving us gifts when it seems like He is taking something away.  In the end, He took away not just a vehicle and over-committed schedule, but my ensuing discontentment and anger as well.  He replaced it with the good gift of being less attached to things and more like His dear Son.

And that, my dear friends, has turned out to be worth far more than a vehicle ever could have been.

More than the Sand

Ps. 139: 17, 18-- "How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!  How vast is the sum of them!  If I would count them, they are more than the sand.  I awake, and I am still with You.


Psalm 139: 17, 18

I woke up heavy today,
Like the rain clouds in the dark morning sky.
A feeling of uncertainty, concern;
What is it I've forgotten?
The same way I awaken so many mornings,
Cares of the world so soon on my mind.

Can a waking be sweet? serene?
I can't shake that rain-cloud
heaviness that
floods
           in
                just
                       as
                             I
                                wake.


Lord, this is the day that You have made.
So I will awaken
                             and
                                      rejoice!
For Your thoughts to me are precious,
More than the sand on the shore.
I awake!
And I am still with You.

Today's Yesterday

School schedules, doctor appointments, homeschool groups, church activities, bills arriving in the mail.

The nightly check of the calendar for the next day-- (What to do tomorrow?)

The nightly check of the bank account-- (What is due tomorrow?)

The voice of God that echoes as my mind jumps ahead to worry about things that haven't even happened yet--

"Take no thought for tomorrow..."

"Take no thought for tomorrow..."

"Take no thought for tomorrow..."
Matthew 6:34

For the "tomorrow" of two days ago, is today's "yesterday". 

And God was there.

"And lo, I am with you always." Matthew 28:20

Old Jewelry, New Priorities

When a girl sells old jewelry that now holds little sentimental value for her (despite the fact that it once meant a great deal)...

When she happily decides to use the money for the last payment on an appliance...

She once again realizes how much her priorities have changed.   (Or is it really how much God has changed her priorities?)

For while she knows there's nothing wrong with enjoying beautiful things like jewelry, she realizes that holding on to things that don't mean much causes life to mean less in the long run.  As days and homes are clogged with stuff, the things that are true priorities-- like husbands, children, friendships, and a growing relationship with God-- often get buried in the energy-zapping, never-ending, maintenance-demanding piles.

Grace upon grace upon grace, leading us along, giving us new minds and hearts...

...and priorities.

Silly Saturday- The Kitchen Chalkboard

About three weeks ago, Paul helped me paint the kitchen a lovely gold color.  Shortly after I put back up my cute, shabby-chic chalkboard on the freshly painted wall, I came around the corner to find this:

Paul must have been giving the boys a tutorial on flag football plays.

Look out, Better Homes and Gardens.   We have Gold Buff paint accessorized with deep red curtains, a white framed chalkboard, and the final perfect decorating touch just in time for fall-- a quarterback running to the right.

If George Muller Registered His Kids for Band...

What would George Muller, the great hero of the faith, do if he had a 12-year-old boy who had begged for many years to play the tuba? (Of course, it had only now recently become a possibility since you have to be bigger than the tuba to play the tuba.)

He would pray as he registered that boy and his homeschooled siblings for a homeschool band.

He would pray on "new-family orientation night" as the band director talked to the boy and gently listened to his 12-year-old dreams.  He would pray as that wise band director encouraged the boy to start on a baritone instead-- it's smaller, a little easier to lug around, but still makes the transition to a tuba a great possibility down the road.

He would pray as he found out that a good, used baritone is anywhere from $600-$2000 to purchase  or $70 a month to rent. (Gulp.)  He might ask that boy if he's interested in the triangle instead, but he would smile when that boy said he'd really like to play the baritone.

He would search craigslist and Ebay, call music stores, and gather information in order to make a wise decision, but he'd still pray to the One who created music and brass and notes and songs-- pray that somewhere out there might be a baritone for a young boy, knowing all the while that the Great Giver of Music could provide one instrument among all the thousands of instruments.

And then he'd watch God provide a baritone to borrow for the year, one that's already owned by the band, one that's providentially not being used currently, one that will cost only a miniscule amount for the whole year instead of $70 a month.

Then he'd fall to his knees with tears of thankfulness, and he would get on his blog to tell his dear friends that nothing is too hard for the Lord-- that God has provided miraculously yet again.

Yes, that is what George Muller might do, if he had lived in the age of blogs and craigslist and homeschool band.  But prayer?  That transcends all technology and the information age.  The God of George Muller is my God and hears my prayers, even for things like instruments.

Once again, this great man of God who believed in the power of prayer and trusted in the unfailing provision of an Almighty Father reached down through the centuries to instruct and cheer on a mama who needed a baritone...

... for a 12-year old boy desperate to play the tuba one day.

Just this morning, He brought one that my son can use this year for just a small fee!  What a provision and answer to prayer!

May this boy and his newly-borrowed baritone ring out with low notes of highest praise.

Great Giver of Music, thank You.

Summer and Winter and Springtime and Harvest...

Everyone who reads this blog on a regular basis knows that I absolutely love summertime.  I love the sunshine, warm weather, relaxed schedule, extra playtime with the kids, and extra time for doing things that I can't do in the school year (like sew and read).  I'm most definitely a summer girl.

I have found over the years, though, that this love of summer produces a certain amount of dread and anxiety as fall and winter approach.  The days will be shorter, the sunshine won't be out as much, the schedule picks back up, and the responsibilities get heavier.  This year has been no exception.

Ah, but isn't it like the Lord to come in and bring truth in unexpected ways.  He spoke to my heart a couple of weeks ago to the point where I find myself anticipating the coming of fall like I never have before.  This may seem like a small thing, but it is a big hurdle in my own life and attitude.

I was at a prayer breakfast for homeschooling moms, and we sang a few songs together including "Great is Thy Faithfulness".  I have sung that hymn hundreds, maybe thousands of times.  We even sang it at our wedding.  I would say it is a personal favorite, but one verse popped out like it never has before.

"Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,

Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above,

Join with all nature in manifold witness,

To Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love."

As I was singing, it hit me...

Summer and harvest both proclaim the faithfulness of God.

Summer AND harvest AND winter?

And not just proclaim, but join with ALL nature.  I had to let it sink in for a few minutes.

Could even my beloved summertime flowers, gardens, and sunshine be joined by leaves, cold weather, and snow in proclaiming the goodness of my God?  And joined in manifold witness?

Manifold.  Many fold.

                    A thousand-fold?

                                         A million-fold?

Manifold.

Witness to what?

To Thy GREAT faithfulness.

And enduring mercy.

And everlasting love.

To most people, this may not seem like much of a realization, and it's something I've known mentally for a long time, but what about my fickle, frail heart?  It's not always so quick to follow the truth that I know in my head.  I don't notice the "joining in manifold witness" as quickly as I notice the shorter days, cold weather, dead grass, and gray sky.

The truth that changes the looming drab into a buffet of anticipation and color is knowing that I'm heading into an autumn where God IS and where He will most definitely be praised.

How like my Lord to sing His truth over me once again-- to redirect my heart and mind to His glory in every time, every season, every change.

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided...

...even when the thing needed is the grace-filled truth that helps a summer girl say hello to autumn.

Great is Thy faithfulness...
 again,
 and again,
 and again.

Checking In Quickly

I apologize for my long silence.  We were just getting settled in after our eventful camping trip when we received the word that Paul's Uncle Ed went to be with Christ last Tuesday morning.  After weighing the options, we decided to travel as a family to Myrtle Beach for the funeral.  The kids knew Ed and loved him very much, and we were flexible enough in our schedule to be able to drive down together.

We left last Thursday and just arrived home again last night.  I think we spent more than 32 hours in the van in the last several days, but it was a good trip.  The kids are amazing travelers, and I don't think I heard a single complaint the whole time (although Paul's "Car Bingo" helped us pass many hours as we searched for all of those easy-to-find items like a West Coast license plate and a dinosaur)!

I'm extremely glad we all went down.  Despite the sad reason for a reunion, funerals have the effect of bringing many family members together in one place.  Along with spending time with Ed's wife (Paul's Aunt Linda), we saw two of Paul's uncles, another aunt, two cousins, and all of Paul's siblings.  We also had the opportunity to love on Paul's mom and dad for a few days.

Ed's favorite song was Michael Card's "Immanuel", and it was my privilege to play that song along with other favorite hymns and songs at his funeral.  He has been quite ill for many years although his death was still unexpected.  I think we are all rejoicing that he is no longer struggling physically.

The Lord was gracious to us on our long drive.  We have literally driven thousands and thousands of miles over the last thirteen years and have never once had a mechanical difficulty with a vehicle.  About four hours into this trip, a sensor in the van went out, and we ended up at a dealership somewhere along our route.  Two hours later we were back on the road with a new sensor that was covered under our warranty.  (We were less than 2,000 miles away from the end of the warranty when the sensor went out.)  Praise be to God for protecting us and allowing the problem to be fixed quickly.

Now we are back home settling in again.  Since we were in Myrtle Beach, we did take the kids to the beach on Saturday, and we made a couple of trips to the pool where Paul's parents live (more x's on the bucket list!).   I'll try to post some pictures in the next few days-- as soon as I figure out our new camera.  (Our old camera never did recover from the shock of the canoe incident!)

So on we plod, being reminded again that life is fragile and fleeting.  We don't know much, but we do know that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.  Ed's healing is finally complete, and for that, I am very thankful.

Thunderstorms, Tents, and The Capsizing of a Canoe

After a very full few days, we are back home from our camping trip!  I'm pleased to report that we returned with all of our children, all of our belongings, and most of our sanity. (Well, we probably returned with as much sanity as we left with, but that's a different post!)

All in all, we had a fantastic time!  We picked Josiah up from summer camp on our way, and it was so wonderful to be back together again out in God's creation.

Other than the obligatory mosquito bites and campfire smell, our trip was uneventful-- unless you count a torrential thunderstorm our first night and the capsizing of one of our rented canoes the second afternoon.  If you count those things, it was a grand adventure that our kids will never forget.

I've never experienced a thunderstorm from inside a tent before.  A few of the thunderclaps were so loud that they caused us all to pitch to the floor.  Then we would sit up and laugh hard when the rumbling stopped.  I don't know if we laughed to send the fear scurrying or if we laughed to keep embarrassment at bay.  Either way, we would scream and laugh, talk about making a run for the van, and then decide to just stay put as another torrent of rain came pouring forth from the heavens.

The skies cleared up just in time for us to build a fire for marshmallow-roasting before bed.

On the second morning, the owner of the campground took the kids out into the river for "Kayaking 101".  They did really well learning to paddle and steer a little boat-- something that helped immensely a few hours later.

Our plan that day was to rent two canoes (the place we stayed is a campground and a canoeing/kayaking outfitter) and canoe down a river through a national wildlife refuge.  The trip was supposed to take 4 1/2 hours and cover about 16 river miles.  We planned to stop for some bird-watching and snacks along the way.  It was still very cloudy, but the guy that put us in the water said that the sun was supposed to come out later that afternoon.

Everything started out well.  I was in one canoe with Josiah and Isaac, and Paul was in the other with Micah and Sarah.  Other than a few mishaps canoeing into trees, getting stuck on some fallen logs, and knocking spiders out of the trees into the canoe, we were moving along just fine.  (Who knew that one treachery of canoeing is spiders falling out of trees when you bump into said trees? Eek!)

About an hour into the trip, I had just gotten stuck on some fallen logs when Josiah, who was in the front of my canoe, looked behind us and yelled, "They're in the water.  The other canoe is upside down!"

At that particular spot, the river was narrow and full of rocks and downed trees.  Paul, Micah, and Sarah had gotten dumped over when the current knocked them into a large tree branch.  When I turned around, I could see that Paul was struggling hard to keep the large canoe from sinking while the twins were floating through the water trying to catch our belongings and a lost paddle.  Praise God that the water wasn't very deep or fast in that spot and we were all wearing life vests.  Providentially, because I was stuck and my canoe wouldn't budge, I wasn't struggling to stay nearby.  I had the twins swim over to me, we retrieved our things as they floated past, and then they climbed up onto a log and got into our boat, shivering and crying.  Meanwhile, Paul was still trying to get the canoe turned back over.  When he finally did, it was full of water.

After about 30 minutes of tipping the canoe to get the water out, bailing out the rest of the water with a cut-off water bottle (it takes awhile when you're bailing 12 oz. at a time), calming the twins down, and discovering that everything in our fancy "stay-dry" bag was soaking wet (including the extra clothes and our cameras), we were finally underway again.  A few hundred yards down-river, we found the lost paddle caught on some more downed trees.  I had prayed specifically that God would stop that paddle somewhere so we could find it, and He answered that prayer with another log!

At that point, we had many miles and several hours to go to meet up with the van that would take us back to the campground.  I found myself in knots most of the rest of the afternoon.  Paul kept trying to remind me how blessed we were and how God had taken care of us, but my mama-heart was anxious every time either canoe got stuck or looked like it might tip even slightly.  We got the twins paddling right away to warm them up, and a couple hours later, the sun finally came out.

Eventually the river widened, the going was much easier, and the kids (and the mama) began to enjoy the trip.  They were such troopers-- all four of them paddling most of the way.  About five hours after setting out, we arrived at the pick-up point to meet our ride.  Aside from sore muscles (and Josiah declaring that his "blisters had blisters" from all of the paddling), we were all in one piece.

God really protected us that day.  Our only casualty was our camera, although thankfully everything on the memory card is likely still there-- (hence the reason there are no pictures of our camping trip yet).  I'm going to be reflecting on that canoe trip for a long time-- the providence of my getting stuck just before the other boat capsized, the shallow water, the hard work Paul did righting and bailing out the other canoe--all while standing chest-deep in the water.  I'm also going to be pondering how it helped when the sun came out, the obstacles and twists and turns of the river, and the spiritual parallels to the experience of those in the canoe farther ahead yelling instructions to those behind them on the journey-- "Stay to the right up here.  Be careful in this spot!"

Compared to that adventure, the rest of our trip was truly uneventful.  We had a great evening by the campfire (I loved learning about cooking over a fire), we all slept hard, and we arrived home late the next day.

I'm certain that there are many more camping adventures in our future.  The kids are now officially hooked!  I think Paul and I had the chance to remember how much we enjoy taking trips like this.  We decided long ago that we would always try to give our kids experiences, not things.  God was good to give us a safe, albeit adventure-filled few days, and I'm thankful for the chance to get away from the hustle and bustle of our everyday life.

So a few more items have been crossed off the summer bucket list, and memories were made that will last a lifetime.  I guess the only thing I can add is this:

God is very good...

To protect His children...

To give us the opportunity to make memories together...

To allow us to experience the beauty of his creation and the majesty of His thunder...

and

To bring us back home again after teaching us many things about Himself.

The Two-Person Tent

Almost thirteen years ago, Paul and I were given a two-person tent for a wedding gift.  We both enjoy camping, and we had registered for a tent and sleeping bags thinking we would have great times going up into the mountains of Colorado on little weekend excursions.

When we came home from our honeymoon, I started back into my teaching job, and Paul started a law practice.  Six months later, we found out we were pregnant with our first baby.  As it turned out, we never used that little tent before Paul went into the Army and we moved away from Colorado.

Fast-forward thirteen years.

In the years since we were given that little tent, God gave us four kids in less than five years, and we had nine different addresses in five different states (I still struggle to remember my zip code-- seriously.).   Somewhere along the line, the kids used the tent as a play structure a few times, and then it got ruined in our last move.  Sadly, we never went camping in it.

Next week we will celebrate our thirteenth anniversary, and how will we celebrate?

We're taking the kids camping for the first time.

Instead of breakfast in bed, it will be bacon over a campfire.  Instead of lazy days in a romantic resort, we will spend a day on a lazy river in two rented canoes.

And I couldn't be happier.  Or feel more blessed.

Because with the "for better or for worse" (and we've had our fair share of both in the last thirteen years), came the blessings of a family and a love that hangs on tight through the good and the bad-- precious gifts from an Almighty God Who loves us with an everlasting love and holds us in the palm of His hand.

I can't think of a better place to tell God "thank you" than sitting beside a campfire in His woods in the early morning with my family sound asleep...

...in our new 8-person tent.

When God Speaks Through a Bird's Nest...

Several weeks ago, I was sitting in the family room reflecting on a conversation with my sister in which she said she believes that each room in a house needs three things: something growing, something from nature, and something from the ocean.  As I looked at the room, I realized that while I already had a plant and had set out some of my favorite seashells, there was nothing from nature.

I didn't grow up loving nature like I do now, but in recent years the Lord has given me a deep love of the outdoors and the beautiful paintbrush that is expertly wielded by His Almighty hand.  I have to ponder-- Can you love the Creator without also coming to love His sovereign omnipotence so marvelously displayed in all things from the tiniest seed to the largest mountain?

In the midst of my ponderings,  I was suddenly inspired to begin my quest for something from nature to put on our large mantel.  I was still testing different arrangements and objects when Paul came in from outside and surveyed my progress.

"What I'd really like to have up there is a real bird's nest," I commented to that man that I love so well.  

"But... really," I had to ask myself, "How often do you come across an abandoned nest?"  I figured I'd just wait and keep my eyes open, and maybe someday I would find one. 

A few days later, Sarah and I decided to take a leisurely walk on a Sunday afternoon.  At one point, she looked over at a large tree and exclaimed, "Mama, look at this!"  On the ground underneath the tree was an empty little nest.  

I stood there absolutely amazed.  Could God have heard and fulfilled even my tiny longing for a bird's nest?

We brought it home, cleaned it out, zipped it up in a bag, and put it in the freezer for a few days in case there were any mites.  Now it sits on the mantel with a picture of a bird tucked up in the top.

I have spent much of the last several months poring over Matthew 6 almost every morning, finding promises that carry me through hard days, uncertain days.  As I've run to the Word, I've also looked out the window and watched the birds flit around the yard in the early morning sunshine.

"Look at the birds of the air, " Christ says to my fearful heart.

  "They neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns,

and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them.

  Are you not of more value than they?"

Matthew 6:26

A few chapters later, He says,

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?

 And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.

  But even the hairs of your head are numbered. 

 Fear not, therefore;

 you are of more value than many sparrows."

Matthew 10: 29-31

I know He hears all of the little prayers and longings of each of our hearts, yet in the grand scheme of life, hard times, famines, wars, and other giant issues we face, a bird's nest for my mantel seems so tiny.

But is it really?

Day after day, night after night-- that nest sits on my mantel, and I think of these verses...

And His promises...

And my own fears that go flitting away as He says, "Look at the birds of the air..."

Can God really speak through a bird's nest?

Absolutely.

On turning 40...

I celebrated my 40th birthday a couple of weeks ago.

I was blessed with a wonderful day surrounded by my husband, children, and precious in-laws.  They showered me with love and kisses and fun presents like a watering can, flip-flops, and a bracelet that grows over time as beads and memories slide onto the silver band.

So what do I think of 40?  I think I have plenty of wiry, gray hair beginning to appear on my head.  Those creases around my mouth and eyes?  I think they're here to stay.

More than anything, though, I have now lived long enough to know that I don't really KNOW much at all.

But I know this...

"O God, from my youth

 you have taught me,

 and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.

So even to old age and gray hairs,

 O God,

 do not forsake me,

 until I proclaim your might to another generation,

 your power to all those to come."

Ps. 71: 17, 18

The Summer Bucket List

I've always been fascinated by the people that make these "bucket lists" of the things they want to do before they "kick the bucket".  The lists usually go something like this:

1.  Go on an African safari
2.  Climb Mount Kilimanjaro
3.  Ride to the top of the Eiffel Tower
4.  Read War and Peace
5.  Sing at the Sydney Opera House
6.  Read every Dr. Seuss book 5 times

(Well, I'm not so sure about that last one, but it sounds like a worthy goal, right?)

Anyway, I saw a great post on another blog about a mom that makes a Summer Bucket List with her kids every summer.  Imagine the thought-- a fantastical, dream-filled list of everything they want to try to do before summer kicks the bucket!  I thought that sounded like a great way to soak up the summer and redeem the time (not to mention eliminating the mournful conversation I always have with Paul in September that starts with "Where in the world did summer go and what in the world did we do?")

I was tremendously inspired by this idea, so I sat my little gaggle of blessings down and said, "Family, what should we try to accomplish this summer?"

We now have a big chart on the fridge of all the fun things we'd like to do-- play dates with buddies, berry picking, making pickles, going to visit Great-Grandma on the other side of the state, mom/dad/kid dates, bike rides, having some families over for dinner, and a whole host of other exciting things.  Most of them are very low cost, although two trips to Cold Stone Creamery and a family trip to a Detroit Tigers game managed to sneak their way onto the list.  We'll see how much we can actually accomplish by Labor Day when the bookshelves, pencils, and textbooks begin calling to us and we have to drag our sun-tanned faces back to the table for very "non-bucket-list" things like math facts and very non-exciting, handwritten essays about exotic places like Mount Kilimanjaro and the Eiffel Tower.

So now I'm sending out e-mails, setting up play dates, looking for fun places to visit on day trips, and heading off to our neighborhood pool with four little sunscreen-smelling, goggle-wearing, towel-wrapped people.  It has been fun to see the kids cross things off and anticipate each thing we get to do-- no matter how small or simple.  They're loving being intentional about how we spend our summer.  It has also been a good exercise for this mama that struggles with a tendency toward all work and no play. I'm learning to work hard at finding things that will build up the joy in our family as we play together.  That is most definitely a lesson I need to learn.  Maybe that's why God in His providence caused me to stumble across that other blog post.

It will be interesting to see the list at the end of the summer.  The kids put "Pool" on the chart 30 times.

Literally.

As of tonight, it's 3 down and 27 to go.

Oh, yeah, and just in case you're wondering-- I don't have a bucket list, but I did read War and Peace cover to cover once (emphasis on once) and sang with a music group at the Sydney Opera House.  I'm not sure, but I would be willing to bet big bucks that I've read every Dr. Seuss book at least 5 times to at least one of four tiny people.  As for Mount Kilimanjaro and the Eiffel Tower, I guess I'll have to be content with those exotic, er... interesting, handwritten essays.

For now, though...

...Sunscreen, here we come!

Gardens and Grace- Consider The Lilies

Consider the lilies of the field...

...how they grow...

...they neither toil nor spin...

...Yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these...

...But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Therefore, do not be anxious...

Matthew 6: 28-30

Summertime

It's been a couple of weeks since I've written anything here.  We finished up school at the end of May, and I spent the last few weeks excavating some of the piles that built up throughout the school year.  After seven years of homeschooling, I have finally come to accept that I can do school well or my house well, but not both.  School and the kids always win over dusting and piles, and this reforming perfectionist of a mama is finally at peace with a decorating style that is best described as "Early Science Experiment with a touch of Dust and Lived-In".  (The basement decorating style is "AAAAAAAAAA! with a touch of Run for Your Lives", but that's probably a different post...)

Anyway, I've made a little bit of progress on the piles.  I've also got a ton of summer sewing projects on the docket, so my sewing machine is dusted off and out on the dining room table, waiting expectantly for those spools and bobbins.  We're spending time soaking up the sun, working in the garden, swimming in our neighborhood pool, and generally enjoying the more relaxed pace of summer.

I love summer, partly because the slower pace gives me a chance to reflect on all that God has done and is doing in our family.  As I sit on the patio, soak in the sunshine, look at the flowers, and watch the birds flit around the yard, I am so thankful for the ways God cares for His creation.  It sends me straight to Matthew 6 almost every morning-- "Look at the birds... Are you not of more value than they?  Consider the lilies of the field, how they neither toil nor spin... Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow..."  Summer is such a gift of grace-- a loving reminder from the Father who cares for His birds and His flowers and His children.

Soaking.
              Savoring.
                               Reflecting.
                                                 Regrouping.

I'm incredibly thankful for summertime.

Food Poisoning and God's Schedule

Paul was out of town this last week, so we decided to go out to dinner Thursday night on the way home from picking him up at the airport.  We had some "free kids' meal" coupons, and we thought it would be fun to have a nice dinner to celebrate his homecoming.

About 30 minutes after we ate, I started feeling sick to my stomach, and by Friday it was clear that I had some type of food poisoning.  I ended up spending all day Friday, Saturday, and part of Sunday completely out of commission.  Praise be to God that I am feeling much better today!

To be completely honest, I was not a bit happy about being knocked out by this unexpected kink in my plan. I was mad at the restaurant and upset that I lost more than two days of productivity.  I had my agenda for the weekend, and it didn't include getting sick.

I often struggle to adjust to God's plan for my days when it is so dramatically different than what I had planned.    I know in my head that His plan is absolutely perfect, and I know that He works all things together for His glory and my good, but I am being sanctified as I learn to submit to His agenda for my days instead of insisting on my own agenda.  I'm learning that there is a big difference between just adjusting mentally and truly submitting with all my heart and mind.  As I lay on my bed wrestling with my attitude, the Lord kept reminding me of the verse that says, "All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be."(Ps. 139:16)

All the days ordained for me...even the ones with food poisoning.

I can be such a slow learner, but God in His wisdom used this last weekend to teach me more about what it means to submit to His schedule and to listen to His truth in the midst of the unexpected changes and adjustments.  Thank God for His unfailing love and tenderness as He draws each of us along, for He knows exactly what He wants to teach us in every moment that He gives us life and breath.  Sometimes those teachable moments come from unexpected speed bumps like food poisoning.

There is one other unexpected blessing that came out of being laid up for a few days.  I finally finished a book I've been working on for 10 months!

Gardens and Grace: The Paintbrush of God

Consider the paintbrush

 of Almighty God,

Who,

in giving His spectacular gifts,

still reminds us that they are only shadows

of the glories yet unseen.

Gaze long.

Breathe deep.

Kneel forevermore.

Pictures and Ponderings: June 1

Sometimes I come across a funny little scene in my house that makes me stop and say, "Hmmmm....I wonder how that got there?"  Recently, one such pile made me literally laugh out loud-- squirt guns, hair accessories, and a crystal-handled wedding cake server-- all hanging out on the laundry room bench together!

Yep, we are a family, and I guess this is a little bit like the way we roll--

  imperfect,
 sometimes illogical,
 but hanging together nonetheless!

Reflections on Memorial Day

At the airport- Memorial Day 2008, minutes before saying good-bye.

For the last few years, Memorial Day has had a double significance in the life of our family. It was on Memorial Day exactly four years ago that my husband deployed to Iraq for 12 months.  This blog was born out of those difficult days and the need to focus on the blessings instead of the fears that threatened to consume us daily.

Today I remember and honor all of those men and women who paid the ultimate price so that we can enjoy so many freedoms.  I am so thankful for their sacrifice.  I also remember and pray for the families that never had the joy of being reunited with their loved one.  We were so thankful that Paul came home to us, but I know that God had a different plan for many other wives and families, and I grieve for their loss.

"The Lord upholds all who are falling

and raises up all who are bowed down."

-- Ps. 145:14

May the Lord uphold all those whose hearts are bowed down today, and may He bless those who serve so far from home.