The 8,134 Mile Road Trip

On Friday, May 29, we started our four-week-long "road trip of a lifetime"! The children and I drove first to Fort Benning to pick up our dear Daddy who was just returning from Iraq. We picked him up on Sunday, May 31, and we all headed to Orlando for a ten-day vacation. We then drove from Orlando to Seattle with overnights in Illinois, South Dakota, and Montana.

While we were in the Seattle region, Paul reported to Fort Lewis, Washington, where he completed his paperwork to get out of the Army. (He is still in the Reserves.) We were in Seattle for a week, and then we drove to Denver to see my parents. After a few days in Denver, we headed for home and arrived exactly four weeks to the day from when we left.

All in all, we were in 18 different states and drove a total of 8, 134 miles!! The trip was an amazing experience, and we relished the opportunity to be together again. The Lord blessed us with safe travel and great family time. What a gift!

I hope you will enjoy this little photo album!

The first kisses from Daddy at Freedom Hall, Fort Benning, GA!

Daddy with all of his happy kids!

Daddy with a very happy (although teary-eyed) mommy!

Isaac wrapped up in his travel pillow on the way to Florida.

The boys with Buzz Lightyear at Magic Kingdom.

Our princess with a princess!

You can't see it in the background, but Micah's smile comes from his love of the ride "Splash Mountain", which he has now ridden 14 times!

Micah by one of the beautiful aquariums at Sea World. You can see a manta ray behind him in the tank.

Our kids up inside the viewing tube in one of the aquariums at Sea World!

Paul's parents came and spent several days with us in Florida. We had a great time with them, and they were glad to see Paul back safe and sound!

Josiah playing in the splash area at Sea World on a hot, hot day!

We spent two days at Disney's Animal Kingdom and three days at Disney's Magic Kingdom! Our entire family enjoyed it immensely!

Sarah with Grandpa in line at Animal Kingdom.

Isaac squeezin' the stuffin' out of Grandma!

Grandpa bought our whole family matching shirts before leaving Disney! It was fun to wear them together on our last day at the park!

As we drove across the country, we got to see several fun places and sights. Here is the first stop-- the Gateway Arch in St. Louis.

At the bottom of the Arch...

...and at the top of the Arch!

We rode on the little tram that is part elevator, part ferris wheel to get to the top. Here is Micah looking out over St. Louis. You can see the Cardinals' stadium in the background of the picture!

On our way through South Dakota, we stopped at Wall Drug for lunch. They had all kinds of activities for kids, so here we are searching for precious stones and gems in the mining area. The kids got to go into some little mines with head lamps on helmets and search in the dark for treasure. Here they are with sluice boxes, separating the dirt from the stones.

You can't drive through the Black Hills without stopping at Mount Rushmore!

I took this picture of the Garmin when we were finally almost to Seattle. It shows only 25 miles to our destination, but it also shows more than 4,000 miles driven and 60 hours of driving time since the kids and I left home on May 29. As for the max speed of 94.2 mph, all I can say is that we had driven through Montana that day. Anyone who has driven through Montana knows that it is easy to go that fast without even realizing it! We realized it rather quickly, but the Garmin still caught it, and now it is preserved for all posterity!

Daddy and Josiah playing chess at the Children's Museum in Seattle.

Beautiful Mount Rainier as seen from Fort Lewis. In the week we were there, it was only clear enough to see it on the one day I took this picture.

We went to the lovely home of Paul's aunt and uncle, Greg and Cheryl White, for dinner while we were in Seattle. Here are pictures of the kids canoeing with Paul's cousin, Sara.

At the top of the Seattle Space Needle with the beautiful city in the background.

We took in a Seattle Mariners game at Safeco Field while we were there. It was absolutely frigid considering it was the middle of June! Paul is hoping to watch a game at every ball park in America before the boys leave home! Mark off Safeco Field!

A few pictures of our happy travelers. They did so well on such a long trip!

Isaac playing dress-up at Oma and Opa's house in Denver. The kids really enjoyed being out of the car for a few days!

The Denver Museum of Science and Nature.

Putt-putt golfing with Oma and Opa! What a fun time! We also got to visit a candy factory in Denver and eat at The Old Spaghetti Factory! I miss Denver and its blue sky! You can take the girl out of Colorado, but you can't take Colorado out of the girl!

On our final stretch, we were able to meet up with my brother and sister-in law, Erich and Jen, in Omaha. Here are the kids with their sweet cousin Jack!

Isaac and Jack saying good-bye!

After Omaha, we drove home and began settling into our life as a family again! By God's grace we had a wonderful trip, and by God's grace, we travel on from here!

The Finish Line

Here is the end of our paper chain.  We leave tomorrow to go pick Paul up in Georgia!

An empty skittles jar that once held more than 6,000 skittles.

We are exceedingly thankful to God for carrying us every step of the way on this journey.  A picture is worth 6,000 words of thanksgiving to a very Present Help.

It's Been Awhile...

It's been awhile since I posted anything on my blog-- a month to be exact.  I have been so swamped trying to finish school and get ready for Paul to come home that I haven't had time for much else.  Isaac had a birthday (cake pictures coming soon!), and we have had a full schedule with church and homeschool activities.  Despite the busyness, the month of May still seems in many ways like it is crawling along.

Paul will be home a week from Saturday!  What a blessing!  Then we have our vacation and begin a new life together.  We even have a week-long anniversary trip coming up this summer!  (Paul's sweet mom is coming to stay with the kids!)   Strangely enough, we both keep calling it our "honeymoon".  It almost feels like I'm getting married next week!

I wish I could describe all of the emotions that swirl in my head, heart, and stomach right now.  I am excited and nervous all at the same time, and sometimes it all seems so paradoxical.  How can I be so excited and yet so nervous all at the same time?  I've pondered it a lot, but I still can't wrap my mind around it!

The Lord has given me opportunities to share some of the things He's done for us this year, and I am so thrilled to look back and see how He's met us at every turn.  Psalm 46:1 says, "God is our refuge and strength; a very present help in trouble."  I just noticed today for the first time that my Bible (ESV) has a little footnote saying that the word "present" can also be translated "well-proved".  He has proven Himself to be very big this year, and I love the idea of God being a "well-proved" help in trouble.  Thinking of God being "well-proved" reminds me of the following words from the hymn "'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus":

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him,

How I've proved Him o'er and o'er.

Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus,

O, for grace to trust Him more.

May the Lord continue to pour out His grace through all of the adjustments and changes that lie ahead.  He is a very "well-proved" help in times of trouble (or in times of nervousness and excitement!) 

First Blooms

Just yesterday

Spring smiled at me

With cheery yellow face.

The winsome daffodils

    emerged,

Green arms stretched out

To mark their place.

As if God spoke,

"It's here. That sign of hope 

You've waited long to see.

A little longer now, dear one.

My child, please trust in Me."

With dark of winter

     almost past,

The waiting almost done,

That ray of hope--

A balm to me, 

My face turned toward the Son.

Just yesterday

Spring smiled at me

With cheery yellow face.

And warmth, sheer joy, delight smiled back

From a thankful heart

Upheld by Grace.

Our Skittles Jar

When Paul was getting ready to deploy, I started looking for ideas to help the kids mark the passing of time.  One idea I came across spoke of letting each child have a Hershey's Kiss every day as a "kiss from Daddy".  We liked that idea, but because Josiah is allergic to milk, we came up with something a little bit different.  I thought I would share it here!

Sometimes we like to call hugs and kisses "sugar", so when Paul left, we made the decision to let the kids have "sugar" from Daddy every night before they go to bed!  They each get four Skittles per day. (One Skittle is like one potato chip-- it's impossible to eat just one!)

When Paul left, I bought a giant jar and filled it with Skittles.  I needed four skittles each for four children for 380 days, so that came out to about 6,000 Skittles!!

I think it has meant the most to Isaac.  He watches the jar like a hawk!  When Paul was home at Christmas, Isaac asked him if he was home for good.  Paul said, "When the Skittles jar is empty, Daddy will be home for good."  Isaac responded so sweetly, "If I look in the jar and see only one Skittle, I will eat it so you come home!"

Here are some pictures of our Skittles jar!

This is the jar when we started.  It was almost entirely full!

I took these pictures yesterday!  When the jar is empty, Daddy will be home!!!

Not too much longer now!  Just about seven and a half weeks!

10 years ago...

...my prayer was answered.  On March 27, 1999, I sat on a snowy mountainside at dawn in Buena Vista, Colorado, as Paul knelt down and asked me to be his bride.  Absolutely no regrets.

Dear God, I prayed, all unafraid

(as we're inclined to do)

I do not need a handsome man

but let him be like You;

I do not need one big and strong

nor yet so very tall,

nor need he be some genius,

or wealthy, Lord, at all;

but let his head be high, dear God,

and let his eye be clear,

his shoulders straight, whate'er his state,

whate'er his earthly sphere;

and let his face have character,

a ruggedness of soul,

and let his whole life show, dear God,

a singleness of goal;

then when he comes

(as he will come)

with quiet eyes aglow,

I'll understand that he's the man

I prayed for long ago.

                       --Ruth Bell Graham

"Forward-Fearing"

I spent some time talking with two friends yesterday, one of whom was another Army wife whose husband is deploying to Iraq very soon.  We started talking about how easy it is to imagine things that could happen in the future.  Once we begin imagining these things, then our thoughts become filled with fear and worry-- what I will call "forward-fearing".  One friend, Angela, brought up something that I had never really pondered before, but it has been on my mind ever since.

When we forward-fear, we are imagining what could happen and our reaction to it, but we imagine it completely based on our own ability to handle a situation.  One of my favorite passages is Hebrews 4:15-16-- "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.  Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."(NASV)  One giant problem with forward-fearing is that it occurs in the mind absent the grace and help that God would be giving us if we were really going through that situation.  God tells us in those verses that in Him we will find grace to help in the time of need, not in the time we imagine a "what-if".  We are to take no thought for tomorrow, so forward-fearing is a sin and a lack of faith in GOD's ability to handle whatever situation comes into our lives.

This has been a great truth to digest, because it is easy to let my mind run away, especially right now with my husband gone.  However, I am commanded to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.  Three truths stop my "forward-fearing".  First, nothing happens outside of God's control of even the tiniest details.  Second,  He will never leave me or forsake me.  And third, whatever comes, I can draw near with confidence to find mercy and grace in any situation or need.  I won't go through anything without the grace of God sustaining me.

What a great blessing to ponder today! 

Eleven weeks from today...

...we will drive to Fort Benning to meet up with the love of my earthly life!  Only 77 days left on this journey!!!!  God has been so faithful, and I've tasted His sweetness like never before!

The adventure won't end in 77 days, however!  A whole new life awaits us.  The Lord has shown us clearly that our time in the Army is drawing to a close, so when Paul returns to America, he will be getting out and looking for a job in the civilian world! 

The plan as it stands right now is for the kids and I to drive to Georgia to pick him up on May 30th or 31st.  We will immediately drive to Orlando for a family vacation, including time at Disney.  Some people in our church own a condo down there that we are renting for ten days!  I absolutely cannot wait!

Paul is technically stationed out of Fort Lewis in Seattle, so after our vacation, he has to get to Fort Lewis to out-process out of the Army.  When faced with another separation, we made a big decision.  We will all drive together from Orlando to Seattle so that we can stay together.  It should be the road trip of a lifetime!  Paul bought me a Garmin for all of my traveling (a very gracious thing for my navigationally-intelligent husband to do for his poor, easily-flustered wife),  and the other day he was joking that when we input the address for Seattle as we leave Orlando, the Garmin will just flash a message that says, "Are you people crazy?!"  My only sadness with this plan is that Paul isn't here to see the looks on people's faces when I mention that we are driving from Orlando to Seattle with four kids!  It is priceless! (The kids ARE good little travelers!) 

So that is the plan.  Once we finish up in Seattle, we will make the long drive home and start our new life together.  To say I am looking foward to it is the understatement of the century! Oh, to be a family again!

Here are some recent pictures of the kids:  

Josiah was trying to show his muscles!

Sarah decided to cook one day while listening to some tunes.  

She had my ipod shuffle hooked to the top of her tights under her dress!

Micah is the lego king in this family!

Isaac routinely sticks his sword cover in his pants

 to help with the quick draw!

God continues to meet our needs and give rest when I feel too weary to continue.  Paul's mom came for about 10 days, and it was a tremendous blessing to have her company and help.  She even painted murals of a castle and sailing ship on our basement playroom walls.  What a gift!

Day #279 with 98 days to go!

Just before I put my children to bed tonight, we put the 279th link on the paper chain that is growing around our kitchen.  Long ago it grew too long to get it all in one picture, but here are some recent pictures taken in the last couple of weeks!  

I completely underestimated what a blessing that paper chain would be to me.  It started as a way for the children to visually mark the time that daddy was gone, but it has become a powerful reminder of the way God has carried us through each day.  There have been many days that I have come to the end of the day with absolutely no idea how we made it-- except for the grace of God that He poured out on our family that day.  Now as I staple each link onto the chain, I am compelled to praise God for bringing us through yet another day without daddy here.

In My Utmost for His Highest,  Oswald Chambers says, "What makes God so dear to us is not so much His big blessings to us, but the tiny things, because they show His amazing intimacy with us- He knows every detail of each of our individual lives."  I have seen this vividly demonstrated countless times in the last 279 days, and I would have to say that if I've learned anything, I have learned much about depending on God to meet my needs instead of depending on my husband.  It has always been very easy for me to run to Paul for help instead of running to the Lord.

I have seen the Lord in so many little details this year, but I just had to share this quick story...

I have always wanted a quilted Vera Bradley bag, but I could never justify the cost.  They come in a myriad of colors and patterns, and they are quite expensive and boutiquish!  I never told a soul-- even Paul- about wanting a one.  It just seemed like a frivolous expense, and I am very content with the bags I have.  But still-- all those cute, happy, bright colors!

In May, before Paul deployed, we went to visit his grandma.  She is a fabulous seamstress, and she has helped me start learning to sew.  While we were there, she and I took a trip to a fabric store for some things she needed.  I saw this beautiful blue and yellow quilted fabric (I LOVE blue and yellow together!) and decided to sew my own summer bag.  Grandma talked me through the project, and I eagerly purchased the fabric planning to get started as soon as Paul left.

After Paul deployed, though, I had to come to grips with the fact that I was not going to have time to do much of anything recreational this year, much less sew a bag.  I was so sad not to make my cheery, quilted bag, and I often looked longingly at the material sitting in my bedroom closet.  I just had to keep telling myself, "Not this year.  Not this year," all the while swallowing my disappointment.  I would tell myself, "The Lord knows.  The Lord knows."

Every Christmas, we draw names for gift-giving on Paul's side of the family, and this year my sister-in-law, Darcie, had my name.  On Christmas morning, I opened her gift, only to be struck absolutely speechless.  When I finally could speak, I sat there looking in the box saying, "No way!  No way!"  She had given me a blue and yellow quilted Vera Bradley bag.  I had never told anyone about wanting one, and the only person that knew about the material in my closet was Paul's grandma.  The LORD knew it was there, though.  Here are pictures of the material I bought and the bag Darcie gave me.  I cry even as I write this because I am still so amazed.  It is like the Lord said, "I know what is in your heart, and I know what kind of year this has been.  Do you trust Me to work it all together for good?"

"What makes the Lord so dear to us is not so much His big blessings to us, but the tiny things, because they show His amazing intimacy with us- He knows every detail of each of our individual lives."

"O taste and see that the Lord is good"...even on day #279.

Our Twinnies are Six!

(click to enlarge any picture!)

Micah and Sarah with their cakes!

Sarah wanted a jewelry box cake this year!

The top was a sugar cookie, and the cake was filled with all kinds of candy jewelry!

Micah wanted a "rock castle" cake with a dragon and knights!

The turrets and towers are ice cream cones, and the stones are marshmallows sprayed with black food color spray.

It doesn't seem possible, but Micah and Sarah turned six today!  We celebrated their birthdays this past Saturday with their Uncle Dan, Aunt Darcie, Uncle Tim, Aunt Jessica, and cousins Emma, Sidney, Addison, Jill, Noelle, Scott, Allison, and Kelly.  What a precious time to be with family!

In keeping with our tradition, the twins had special cakes!  They always get to choose the theme of their cake, and I had the distinct honor of creating their cakes by myself this year.  Paul and I always do it together, so I missed him terribly, but Paul helped with ideas from afar!  These cakes are just one more thing I didn't think I'd be able to accomplish this year, but by God's grace, we had a great celebration!

Eight months!

Just a quick post today to proclaim God's goodness as we passed the eight-month mark for this deployment this last Monday.  Sometimes I have no idea how we all make it to the end of the day, but by God's grace, somehow we do.  The weariness has set in, and I am continually amazed at how the Lord provides what I need when I just don't feel like I can keep plodding forward.  A recent example-- I was struggling with frustration over homeschooling this week. After begging God for wisdom (He promised to give it generously and without reproach! James 1), the name of an older homeschooling mom from church came to mind.  I called her to see if I could make a phone date to talk with her after I got my kids into bed, and she ended up driving quite a distance to bring me a mocha and talk in person that night.  Her words were, "I will be there in an hour with coffee and the Holy Spirit."  She was a tremendous instrument of grace, and I cannot begin to adequately thank the Lord for her.  She helped me remember why I homeschool in the first place-- something I was struggling to remember in the midst of the weariness.

So the Lord keeps pulling us through, day by day.  How would we make it without Him?  I honestly don't know.  I'm very, very thankful I won't ever find out.  He said He'd never leave me or forsake me.

For now, we plod on toward the nine-month mark!

Seek Me like that...

Psalm 63:1-- "O God, You are my God; earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh faints for You, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water."

Every new year I ask the Lord for a verse that can be my theme for that calendar year.  As we approached this January, I began praying for that verse.  The verse written above was very present in my mind:  "O God, You are my God; EARNESTLY I seek you..." (emphasis mine). The verse the Lord gives me is always providential as the year unfolds, and it is starting to become an adventure in my own heart to see how the Lord will use a particular verse.  Last year's verse was Ps. 73:26-- "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."  At the beginning of 2008, I wondered why the Lord would give me that verse, but on December 31, 2008, I knew that I had needed that ballast when my heart and flesh did fail often, even daily, through a very difficult year.  The Lord graciously never lets me see ahead, but looking back I always see His providence in the verse He selects for me.

So what about this year's verse?

This last December, as I was trying to think of a gift idea for Paul, I decided that I would transfer many of our old videotapes onto DVD.  Paul has a DVD player in his office in Iraq, so I knew it was a gift he would enjoy!  Our old 8mm camera had broken, so I spread the word among some friends that I would like to borrow one.  Sure enough, one family from church brought me theirs to borrow the next Wednesday night, and I was sure I could give Paul a really precious gift!

That night I went home, put the kids to bed, and started searching for the old videotapes.  I thought I knew where I had put them, but when I looked, they were nowhere to be found.  I was literally up all night, searching and crying as I tore the basement workshop apart looking for the lost tapes.  I was frantic.  I was very concerned that all of our video memories-- the kids' births, their first steps, their little antics-- were gone.

I think the stress of the last seven months all culminated in that one night.  I had finally hit my breaking point, and I cried for hours.  I could not imagine what had happened to those tapes.  I felt crushed and bewildered.  Where could they be?  I couldn't even begin to imagine.

I finally gave up my search-- exhausted and spent emotionally.  I had spent too much time looking for them already and the search was just going to have to wait until after Christmas.  I resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't be able to make the DVD's for Paul after all.

Paul arrived home on Christmas Eve, and we had a wonderful Christmas together.  The only thing he REALLY wanted for Christmas anyway was just to be with us, and God gave us that gift!  Those missing tapes were never far from my mind though, and I was itching to get back downstairs and resume my search.

A few days after we made the jump into 2009, my dear husband agreed to spend a couple of hours with me in the workshop, sorting things and giving me some direction on the piles, bins, and boxes.  We have never lived in a house longer than three years, so I've never had the opportunity to collect and store and pile.  However, we are nearing three years in this house, and stuff has started to accumulate.  Coupled with my rampage through the workshop in search of the lost tapes, that space was an absolute disaster.

Paul and I went downstairs, put on some music, and got started.  With each box I opened, my heart sank a little more because I still hadn't found those tapes.  I was beginning to run out of places they could be.  I was even crying again, but my rational husband kept saying, "They've got to be here somewhere."

After two hours of working, Paul took the kids to go do some errands before dinner.  I set a timer and decided to search for another half hour.  I started into the "keepsake" boxes where all of the "memories" are stored-- the place I thought I put the tapes in the first place.  That would make sense, right?

I came to one last box-- a box I had searched in four times already, and the place I thought I had put the tapes last summer.  There, at the bottom, were all of the videotapes-- right where I had thought they should be all along.  I had looked in that box, dug through the box, practically torn the box apart, but I had missed them during my frantic search in December.  I haven't lined up the dates, but I think they are all there-- about 15 of them.  I was absolutely stunned.

As I stood at my kitchen sink a few minutes later, I began asking God what He wanted me to learn from this whole experience.  Why wouldn't I have seen them?  That was where I thought I had put them originally, and I had looked there so many times.  How could I have been so blind?  How did I not see all those tapes?  Was there a reason He didn't allow me to see them that night?

The Holy Spirit had one phrase for me:  "Seek Me like that.  Seek Me like that."

I have only heard that phrase once before.  Several years ago, a friend in a Bible study gave a testimony about losing her wedding ring diamond while she was out shoveling snow.  As she frantically searched through sparkling snow for the lost stone, the Holy Spirit had clearly said to her, "Seek Me like that." 

I haven't thought about that testimony in a long time, but when I asked the Lord what I was supposed to take from this, He VERY CLEARLY reminded me of that phrase--"Seek Me like that.  Seek Me like that."

"But, Lord, I dug through the dust and cobwebs and old memories and accumulated junk like a mad woman.  I was frantic and unconcerned about anything else but finding those tapes.  Why didn't I see them then?  I have thought about them constantly." 

 I was sobbing by that time.

"Seek Me like that.  Seek Me like that."

OK, Lord, I'm listening.  I think I finally understand...

"O God, You are my God;   EARNESTLY I seek You..."

 

Back to the Five of Us...

Paul left again today after fifteen wonderful days at home on leave, and it is now just the five of us again for several more months.  It was so hard to see him go.  The good-byes are very draining. I relished just being a complete family again-- doing typical family things.  We didn't do a lot of extra things while he was here, but we had a great time together.  We especially enjoyed the gift of celebrating Christmas as a family!  The other highlight of the last two weeks was taking the kids on a road trip to Great Wolf Lodge.  We had a fantastic time, and Isaac was just big enough to go on all of the slides in the water park!  We made some precious family memories those days.  The balm to my heart today has been the hope that the next time I see my dear husband, Lord willing, this deployment will be finished.

As I beg God for grace to sustain us through this continued separation, I continually reflect on four verses.  They are verses the Lord has given me over the last few years as I have sought a theme verse for each new calendar year.  They all speak to me about who I am in Christ and the joyous blessings He bestows on me as His child.  I would like to share them here as I begin this new year.  The parts in bold print are the phrases that have come to mean so much-- my "ballast phrases" on long days.  If you have a "ballast verse or phrase" that sustains you, I would love to have you add it in the comments at the end of this post!

John 15:14-16--"You are my friends if you do what I command you.  No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.  You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you."

Psalm 73: 25-26-- "Whom have I in heaven but you?  And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." 

Hebrew 4:15-16--"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Jude 24-25--"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever.  Amen.

May the Lord continue to make His name very great as we plod on day by day.