Chocolate Syrup and Cookie Dough

Sunshine

2012-02-14T07:12:00.001-05:00

I absolutely LOVE sunshine.

One of the things I have always missed about Colorado is the way the sun shines all the time, even in winter. Normally it is cold, gray, and dreary here this time of year, but we've had an unusual (and I mean unusual!) amount of sunshine this winter. Last spring I realized that I have a definite physical issue that arises from too little sun, so I knew that I was going to have to be proactive about getting even small bits of sun when I could through the winter. I was dreading the long gray winter, but God has given more sunshine than I could have imagined possible. What a gift of grace to my weary heart during a really difficult time!

The last few days I've had a cold, so I stayed home from church on Sunday. I was sitting on a stool in our sunny little alcove with my long sleeves pulled up and my face turned toward the sun when Paul and the kids got home after church. Sarah walked in and said, "Mommy, are you sun-basking?"

Yes, sweet girl. I was basking. I admit it. I do love this sunny winter.

As thankful as I have been for the sunshine, I know that the gray days will surely come too. On those days, I need to remember to bask in another Light-- with my face turned toward the Son.

Getting Back to Normal

2012-02-03T09:39:00.001-05:00

Paul saw the surgeon yesterday and doesn't have to go back again! The surgeon was pleased with his progress and said that Paul's prognosis was good to have a complete recovery. Paul will still have appointments with the infectious disease specialist for the recent infection, but as for the initial surgery, Paul is recovering well. We are extremely grateful for this blessing from the Lord.

Paul has started back to work and has even been to court a couple of times this week. The other day I was unloading the dishwasher when he returned from court and walked into the house in his suit and overcoat. The kids ran to him in their usual exuberance-- "Daddy!!!"

I thought to myself, "This feels so normal."

It felt so good for something to be "normal". Nothing exciting, out of the ordinary, unusual, or surprising. Just normal!

Just normal. I wonder how often I have complained at the normal and ordinary?

Today I am praising God for the process of getting back to a regular, normal pattern of living, all the while praying that we would glorify and cling to God in the normal and the ordinary moments just as we must during the exciting, stressful, and eventful ones. He is the God who carries us through both. I continue to pray for a complete recovery for Paul and the Lord's direction with Paul's practice, but I am also very thankful for the process of "getting back to normal".

Amazing Provision

2012-01-31T10:49:00.001-05:00

A story of our good God who provides in ways that shouldn't surprise us, but they always do:

Paul was sent home from the hospital with a 2-week prescription for his antibiotic, but most pharmacies don't even carry it. We had been told that he would get liquid because the pills are extremely expensive.

When I called our local pharmacy on Sunday afternoon, the pharmacist said they couldn't even get the liquid, but she also looked up our insurance and said that if we got the pills, we were only covered for 20 (out of the 56 he would need). The words "maximum allowable amount" were uttered at some point in the conversation. The nurse at the hospital gave us enough doses of liquid on Sunday to get through the night, and then we had to go back to the hospital yesterday to have the prescription filled there instead.

As Paul picked it up yesterday, he was very surprised that they had given him the pills instead of the liquid. He asked the pharmacist about it and found out that they had called the insurance to override the limit. He paid the $12 co-pay and left the pharmacy, still wondering at the change. As we stood in the lobby of the hospital looking at the label, we realized that it showed our co-pay and also showed the complete cost of the medication. We were absolutely stunned.

Total cost of 56 pills: $3,703.06
Cost to us: $12

Unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable.

The words all string together in my mind-- "Consider the lilies of the fields... are you not of much more value than the sparrows... take no thought for tomorrow... Your Heavenly Father knows that you have need of these things..."

...even antibiotics.

Home (Again)

2012-01-29T18:37:00.000-05:00

Just a brief update to let everyone know that Paul was discharged this afternoon. He will continue the antibiotic at home and follow up with his doctors in the next few weeks.

The Lord has been so gracious to us. Yesterday while I was at the hospital, four ladies came and cleaned my house. They left the house cleaner than it has been in weeks! What a blessing to come home from the hospital to a clean house. We were also given two meals in the last two days, and we have been given several grocery gift cards. I am overwhelmed at the way the Lord is providing.

Many thanks to everyone for all of the prayers and love extended. We are continuing to pray that God would completely heal Paul from this infection, and today we are very thankful that the Lord has brought him back home...again!

C. Diff...icult to Get Rid Of

2012-01-27T22:46:00.003-05:00

After a day of consults and cultures, we have a diagnosis. The C. diff. is back. Paul finished a two-week regimen of the other antibiotic, but that has obviously not done the job. He is now being given the big gun- vancomycin.

We saw a host of doctors today-- from MD's to Surgeons to Infectious Disease Specialists. Even before the culture came back positive, they were all saying the same thing.

The good news is that Paul's symptoms have an explanation, a treatment, a possible end. That is something we don't take for granted. The other good news is that they can mix the vancomycin liquid with orange juice to make it more palatable. Paul is extremely thankful for that.

If he does not develop a fever again and if his symptoms seem to be improving, they could possibly send him home tomorrow. We won't know anything until the doctors come around again. I guess we will see in the morning.

I am home with the kids tonight, but I spoke to Paul a little bit ago and he at least sounded a little brighter. That was a good sound after some long days. We so appreciate all of the prayers being offered up on our behalf.

So on we plod, into another day of waiting and praying...

...being held by the One who is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and in whose book were written all the days of our lives when as yet there were none of them.

Back to the Hospital- January 26

2012-01-26T23:18:00.000-05:00

Paul is in the hospital again tonight. He has been suffering with a bad cold, but he began to have more abdominal pain and some other digestive symptoms. I called the surgeon's office this morning and talked with the dear nurse that has been such a tremendous blessing to us (May God richly bless Kathy). They planned to have us come in this afternoon, but later decided to have Paul go to the hospital for a CT scan first. I was driving Paul to the hospital when he suddenly got light-headed and passed out.

By God's grace, I was less than a minute from the hospital, so I pulled into the ER drive, ran in, and got some help. By the time they came out with the gurney, Paul was beginning to come to consciousness again. A few minutes later he was fully responsive.

We spent the afternoon at the ER. They did tests and a CT scan and discovered that the side of his colon opposite the surgery site is inflamed. They have no idea why this has happened. He will be evaluated tomorrow by the surgeon, a GI doctor, and possibly an infectious disease doctor. We have no idea if he will come home tomorrow or if he will stay longer.

It is a tremendous blow to hear this news. We have been so hopeful that Paul's surgery would solve the problems that he has had for so long, but it seems as though there might be some other underlying problem.

Please pray for Paul. His body is still so weak, he is stressed and anxious about needing to work, and he is now discouraged at the possibility that the surgery may not be the end of the problems. We are thankful that the Lord is near to us, even in these difficult days.

"Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

God knows our frame and remembers that we are dust. Our flesh and our hearts may fail, but God is the strength of our hearts and our portion forever. That is my assurance tonight.

Still Needing Prayer

2012-01-25T07:47:00.000-05:00

Paul is still really needing prayer. He came down with some type of respiratory infection or cold over the weekend and has a terrible cough. He has been unable to sleep, so he is exhausted. He is also feeling the pressure of needing to start working again, as it has been almost 4 weeks since his surgery.

Will you please pray that God would heal him completely from this terrible cough and restore his strength? Will you also pray that the Lord will provide for our family while Paul is recovering? As February looms ahead, I know that nothing is impossible with God.

"Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid..." John 14:27

Sunday Update on Paul

2012-01-22T14:56:00.000-05:00

It has been awhile since I updated everyone on Paul's recovery, so I thought I would quickly let everyone know that he is improving and getting stronger each day! He started driving again this past Friday, and he went to church this morning for the first time since his surgery. I think the trip to church wore him out, because he is out on the recliner sound asleep as I type this post! I know it will be awhile before he has his complete stamina back, but he is eating well and feeling pretty well, aside from some occasional discomfort if he sits up straight for too long.

One other note-- The pathology report from the section of colon they removed determined that Paul had perforated diverticulitis with an abscess outside his colon. It is rare for someone Paul's age to have diverticulitis, but we are thankful for a definitive report after 2 1/2 years of not knowing what was wrong. The surgeon believes that Paul should make a full recovery now that the severely inflamed portion of his colon has been removed. It is also further confirmation that the surgery was indeed necessary. We are thankful that the Lord kept that abscess from bursting, as that would have been extremely dangerous to Paul.

Please continue to pray for a complete healing and recovery. The surgeon said it generally takes six to eight weeks for most people to feel completely "normal", and this last Friday was the three-week mark. Paul is going to start trying to get back to work this week, and we would ask that you pray that the Lord would provide more business for his law practice. He will also be sending out some resumes to explore what other job opportunities there might be. We are trusting the Lord to provide for our family, but it can be difficult to wait and walk by faith without becoming anxious and sinking into sinful worry.

On this Lord's Day, we praise God for the healing work that He is doing in Paul's body, and we are very thankful that He is allowing Paul to feel stronger each day. We don't take this recovery for granted, and we are very grateful that the Lord would be so gracious to us.

Again, we say "thank you" to all of you for the prayers offered on our behalf!

2011 in Pictures

2012-01-15T20:09:00.001-05:00

With all of the health-related posts lately, I decided it was time for something a bit more light-hearted-- some pictures of a few of the highlights from last year! Here is our year in review-- new cakes, time with cousins, a trip to Colorado...

...and a few flowers (simply because I think that life is too short not to take pictures of flowers)!

Oma and Opa at the Krueger family get-together in Omaha last January!

The Krueger cousins (minus my new niece Naomi who was born in February!) with Opa and Uncle Erich.

Micah's Broncos football helmet birthday cake!

Sarah's bumble bee birthday cake!

Can they really be 8 already?

Paul's mom with the Streetman cousins and a brand new cousin named Tommy, who weighed almost 11 lbs!

Streetman Cousin Spring Break Trip to Great Wolf Lodge!

No cake for Isaac's 6th-- He just wanted a cherry pie!

Bleeding hearts in my front yard.

A trip to Colorado in June included much time in the mountains!

Bear Lake with Hallett Peak in the background

Hiking around Bear Lake in June.... in the snow!

Hiking up to Alberta Falls.

Up at the top of Alberta Falls

Notice the view!

Notice the hair!

Getting the Junior Ranger badges from the park ranger

Oma and Opa at the top of Trail Ridge Road

Celestial Seasonings Tea Factory in Boulder

What a surprise-- Denver has an American Girl Store! Sarah was thrilled!

Silly boys!

With Opa at Invesco Field at Mile High. Afterward the boys went to Coors field to see the Rockies play the Tigers.

Oma and Sarah in front of Oma's beautiful clematis!

Lovin' Colorado!

Tart cherries from our little tree-- enough for two pies!

Mommy's birthday wish? A family day at a Tiger's game!

Kids run the bases! Too fun!

Our little ballerina!

YMCA Baseball for Isaac and Micah

Micah's our little sports guy-- He also played flag football this fall!

Fishing on Great Grandma's dock in August!

So patient!

Josiah's 11th birthday-- a moose cake!

Making progress on learning to sew!

Teaching my girl to sew too!

Her feet don't even hit the floor, so we had to boost up the foot pedal!

New glasses!

Merry Christmas 2011!

God is so good!

Making Progress

2012-01-13T11:46:00.000-05:00

After a few really tough days, yesterday was a much better day. We saw the surgeon for a follow-up appointment, and he was encouraging about Paul's progress. It will take awhile before Paul has completely regained his stamina, and he has lost 20 lbs. in the last two weeks, but the surgeon felt that he is beginning to heal. Paul is moving much better, so he has been walking around the house quite a bit.

His appetite is slowly returning. The surgeon even said that there are no big dietary restrictions! Paul is pretty happy about that after several days of soft foods like canned peaches and pears!

We have both gotten some sleep the last two nights. I was completely exhausted and had hit a massive wall physically. Paul was sleeping maybe two hours at a time, but he has finally gotten some solid sleep as well. What a difference a few uninterrupted hours of sleep make in the recovery process! As one doctor at the hospital said, "The hospital is no place to rest. They wake you up to ask if you need a sleeping pill!"

I am exceedingly humbled at the people that have come alongside us in the last few days to uphold us through some rough patches. It is such a blessing to see the Lord provide just the right people and help at our time of need. It is always more comfortable to our human pride to be the ones giving the help than receiving it, but I am so thankful for the brothers and sisters that have come around us to hold up our arms and speak truth to us. I know there are many that have been praying for Paul from far away, and we have received at least a dozen cards in the mail since Monday. In this digital age, there is still something so precious about holding a hand-written card and knowing that the last hand that touched it was the hand of someone that loves you. I know I'll spend some time pondering that realization in the weeks to come.

So this morning, I guess I'm just glad to report that, for the first time in a long while, we are trending upward. While the walk is slow and frustrating at times, the Lord is beside us, meeting us in our weakness and ministering to us through His people. We are very thankful indeed.

"For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward Him." II Chronicles 16:9a

January 10

2012-01-10T14:46:00.001-05:00

It is a sunny, cold, blue-sky, Colorado-like day here-- not typical January for this part of the country, but a boon to my tired mind and body nonetheless!

Can it really be January 10?

Paul is at home recovering now, dealing with the reality that it is going to take time and patience before he feels much better. He is quite weak. He is still trying to manage his pain, and his appetite is slowly returning. We are also learning patience as we wait for his digestive system to return to a normal pattern of functioning. That would be a main prayer request, along with physical strength and alleviation of pain.

His parents left this morning. What a grace they were to us. I won't ever be able to thank them enough for the way they cared for our home and children while I was at the hospital almost non-stop for 9 days. I don't think I could have weathered all of this without their help. Paul's dad did several house projects while he was here, and Paul's mom showered the kids with love, affection, and attention. They played more than a few rounds of Play Nine, Quiddler, and Qwirkle with our little game-lovers, and they did a great job distracting the kids from being worried about daddy. I pray God's abundant blessing on them as they travel home. What a gift they are. I am truly overwhelmed at their love and care.

Please continue to pray for Paul's complete healing. It will take time to regain strength, and I think it can be discouraging to wait for that to happen. It is my prayer that the promises of God will buoy His mind and heart through this time of physical weakness. If there is a promise of God that is especially precious to you that you think would encourage Paul at this time, would you leave it as a comment here?

Many thanks for the continued prayers of our friends and family.

On we plod...

Home

2012-01-07T22:15:00.000-05:00

A very short but thanksgiving-filled post to let everyone know that Paul came home this afternoon! He has a lot of recovery ahead of him, but I am glad to have him back home with us.

We are exhausted tonight, so this will be quick. I hope that in the next few days I will be able to write a bit about all of the ways God has been so gracious. Our profound thanks to all who have prayed for us. We would also be grateful for continued prayer as Paul recuperates. I am praying that his recovery will be complete and that this will be the end of the digestive problems that have plagued him for so long.

Tonight I simply find myself overwhelmed at the way God has cared for us. My dear friends, O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together!

Positive Progress, Guarded Optimism

2012-01-06T17:07:00.001-05:00

I just got home from the hospital a bit ago. Paul has steadily improved throughout the day-- Praise God!

When the surgeon came, he told Paul that if all goes well tonight with increasing his diet, managing his pain, and getting him on oral antibiotics instead of IV antibiotics, he might be able to come home tomorrow! This is great news! One other doctor that came by commented that Paul was doing much better than most people do at this point with C. diff. I don't even have to wonder-- I know that it is because of all the prayer of our friends and family. It is humbling to be upheld in such an overwhelming way. I told the doctor that I believed it was not just the antibiotic, but also because we have literally hundreds of people praying for him. The shoulders shrugged, the eyebrows went up, but then he admitted, "Well, maybe that helps too."

So now we are guardedly optimistic that tomorrow I will be able to bust him out of there and bring him back home to finish recuperating. Please continue praying for him. For the first time in about 9 days, I saw the smile that I love so well. I know he will have more recovery after we get home, and it will take him awhile to regain his strength, but I have to cautiously admit-- that smile looked suspiciously like a tiny glimmer of light at the end of the hospital tunnel.

Friday Morning

2012-01-06T10:29:00.002-05:00

No real change this morning. Paul had a pretty rough night. He's still not feeling well, is physically exhausted, and desperately misses the kids (we haven't brought them over because of the C. diff.).

For all those that the Lord brings to this blog post (and especially the men), will you please pray that God would uphold Paul and lift his spirits? He knows that God is the ultimate provider for our family, but he feels the heavy burden of his role and responsibility as the daddy, husband, and earthly provider. The longer he is here, the more stress he is feeling about getting home and getting back to his practice. His surgery was a week ago today.

I would humbly ask that you pray for me as well. I think I am getting a little cold, so I have now added a stylish blue mask to the ensemble of yellow gown and gray gloves that I have to wear in the room. I am praying that I will not give the cold to Paul.

The Lord gave me the following verses this morning. It would be a great comfort to have our friends and family pray these over Paul today:

Ps. 3:3-5-- "But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the Lord, and He answered me from His holy hill. I lay down and slept; I woke again for the Lord sustained me."

Ps. 4:8-- "In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."

New Morning, New Mercies

2012-01-05T12:48:00.000-05:00

It seems hard to believe that I brought Paul to the hospital one week ago.

He is somewhat improved this morning, but he is completely wiped out. The doctors came by a little while ago and plan to continue the heavy-hitting antibiotic. He was able to get a little bit of rest in the night, and his bouts with the intestinal symptoms, while still very present, seem to be getting farther apart. Paul is more stable, so they have even let him try to eat a bit. Applesauce and Sierra Mist seem gourmet after such a long week, although I think he'd pay big money for a bottle of Squirt if I could find one in the hospital!

We are tremendously grateful for the messages and notes of love and encouragement we have received. I know the antibiotics are starting to do their job, but I also believe wholeheartedly that the prayers of our friends and family have been an immeasurable help overnight. May the Lord be praised for his mercies to us this morning.

Thank you for continued prayer. No word yet on going home, but we are thankful for even tiny steps of progress.

Oh, yeah-- and the sun is out today!

Bad Bacteria

2012-01-04T21:29:00.002-05:00

An evening update--

Paul has had a horrible day, and I thank everyone for the prayers. Just a bit ago a culture came back positive for the bacteria C. diff. Most people have it commonly in their intestinal tract, but it is super resistant to antibiotics and takes the first opportunity it gets to grow unchecked after everything else gets killed by other antibiotics. He is now going to be on some super strong antibiotics to try to kill the C. diff. This means several more days in the hospital, and a continuation of some awful intestinal symptoms that come with the bacterial infection. He is miserable and very low in spirit as well.

Please pray:

1. That the antibiotics would clear up this infection.

2. That Paul's heart would be upheld by the Spirit that is even now making intercession for him before the Father.

3. That he will continue to heal from the surgery with no other surgical complications. He is still in a lot of pain.

4. That the children will continue to do well with my in-laws and that they wouldn't worry.

5. That I will have energy far beyond my own sleep-deprived resources, and that I would minister grace to Paul in every way possible.

6. That I will remain healthy. C. diff is contagious, but normal healthy adults generally have enough other armies of intestinal bacteria to keep C. diff in check.

7. That God would be glorified somehow through our extreme weakness.

It is gut-wrenching to see him so ill and not be able to do much for him. We are so appreciative of the prayers. Visitors are probably not a good idea right now while he feels so bad, but I will read him any e-mails. You can leave a comment here or send him an e-mail at pstreetmanlaw@gmail.com.

As I sit at the hospital, I am now forced to ponder this question: Since God created everything for His own glory, how in the world could something like bad bacteria glorify God? I truly have no idea, but maybe it's just by bringing countless people who think we're so big and tough to our knees over something so very microscopic.

All I know is that He made the bad bacteria, so He is bigger than they are, and He loves to hear the prayers of His children.

Praying for a restful night for Paul...

More Prayer Needed

2012-01-04T12:21:00.000-05:00

Paul has developed a fever in the last several hours, and the doctors are doing some tests and cultures to try to determine the problem. He is feeling really bad, and we are very much in need of the prayers of our friends and family.

I will continue to update as we know more.

Still in the Hospital

2012-01-03T12:06:00.001-05:00

We are now four days post-surgery, and Paul is still in the hospital. Yesterday was rough. From what the doctors have been saying this morning, it looks like he will be here a few more days. They are trying to manage his pain, but he has moments where it is pretty intense. He also needs to be able to take in food and keep it down. Chicken broth and jello, here we come!

I've been at the hospital almost the entire time, although I've gone home for a few hours to change clothes, see the kids, and take care of a few tasks. I have also been spending the nights at the hospital. I'm so blessed that Paul's parents are taking such good care of the kids.

We would appreciate continued prayer. Paul had hoped to feel a lot better than he does at this point, and I think he's a bit discouraged. I am feeling pretty tired, though the Lord continues to bring sweet moments of encouragement through people I come in contact with at the hospital. I haven't had much time to journal, so I'm hoping to be able to sit with my journal at some point and recount all of the ways God has shown His love and care for us through the last several days. He's been very gracious.

The verse God gave me this morning is Ps. 145:14-- "The Lord upholds all those who are falling, and raises up all who are bowed down."

I'll continue to post updates here as we move forward. Thank you for continued prayer.

Moving Forward into 2012

2012-01-01T12:12:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year to all of our friends and family! I wanted to post a quick update here and thank everyone for praying.

The first 48 hours post-surgery have been ok for Paul. He's been up walking quite a bit since yesterday morning, and each time he has been able to go a bit farther. That is great news. The surgeon has said several times that walking will be the key to his recovery. The nights have been a little rough, and although he's still in pain, he's managing it pretty well.

He's still looking at several more days in the hospital, but it could be less if things in his belly start getting back to normal and he continues to gain strength.

Last evening, Paul's dad and brother were able to spend some time keeping him company while I had dinner with his mom and the kids. After a quick nap, I headed back to the hospital to ring in the New Year at the happenin' private party in room 3223. I've never had a New Year's Eve date with a guy in a gown! We even walked the halls at midnight to celebrate!

It sounds like the kids had a fun night with grandma and grandpa. They are in such good hands, and I feel so blessed that I am able to be at Paul's side giving him my undivided attention.

While Paul still has a great deal of recovery left, it is a great encouragement to be moving forward. At the start of 2012, I praise our great God for his grace and provision, and I send our thanks to all those that are praying for him. May the Lord bless each dear one for their ministry to our family.

Update on Paul's Surgery

2011-12-30T20:19:00.003-05:00

Abundant thanks to all who have prayed us through this day. The Lord heaped grace upon grace as the day unfolded, and I find myself overwhelmed at God's goodness to us tonight. I just got home a few minutes ago, so I thought I would post a quick update.

Paul's surgery took a little more than three hours, but the surgeon seemed pleased with how it went. A section of Paul's colon was very bad, but it was a smaller section than they originally anticipated. The surgeon was also happy with the way he was able to join the remaining sections, so Paul does not have a temporary colostomy or any other complication of that nature. That is a tremendous answer to prayer. He has received excellent care all day, and when I left a few minutes ago, they were doing what they could to manage his pain level.

He will probably be in the hospital for about a week. (He bleeds maize and blue, so he's pretty bummed that he won't be home with our boys to watch Michigan play in the Sugar Bowl.) I am blessed that his mom is here to care for our children, so I am free to minister to him and help him. I'm sure the next few days will be rough, so we appreciate the continued prayers.

As I drove home tonight, I was thinking about all the tiny ways God showed his care for us today-- a lady at the hospital coffee bar early this morning who gave me coffee 35 minutes before she was supposed to open, the volunteer in the surgery waiting room who smiled and updated me regularly, our pastor who came so early to be with us and pray with us, a dear friend who came to sit with me and brought a little needlepoint to give me an outlet for my nervous energy, all of the e-mails and texts, and some other friends who came to the hospital or came to watch the kids so Paul's mom could spend a bit of time with him too. It has been truly overwhelming, and I praise the Lord tonight.

As the surgeon finished giving me the update after the surgery, I thanked him and said, "I just want you to know that there are people all over the world that have been praying for you today."

He looked startled, and then said, "Thank you. I probably needed it."

Don't we all.

My heart is absolutely overwhelmed by the love and care shown to us today by Christ and His children. Thank you all for praying.

I will continue to post updates as Paul recovers.

Back to the Hospital Again

2011-12-29T18:46:00.000-05:00

God's plan for today was different than ours...

Paul got really sick again this morning. After several calls to the nurse at the surgeon's office, I drove Paul to the hospital. It was the sickest I've seen him yet.

After fluids, pain medication, and nausea medication, they decided to keep him overnight to complete the surgery prep. His surgery is still scheduled for 7:30 am tomorrow.

We are doing our best to rest in the sovereignty of God, but I think we are both exhausted. The prayers of our friends and family are a great gift to us.

Please pray for a smooth surgery, no complications following the surgery, and a complete recovery for Paul. Pray also for the children and for God's grace to be poured out on our whole family.

We are now off to the airport to pick up Paul's mom.

May the Lord make His name very great both today and in the days ahead.

Three Answers to Prayer

2011-12-28T07:17:00.002-05:00

I woke up extremely anxious yesterday morning and went racing (and I mean racing) to God with my worries. By the end of the day, He had spoken four times to me-- once by directing my flustered heart to Matthew 6, and three times with specific answers to specific prayers.

1. He sent an unexpected financial gift to help pay some bills, and He gave us the gift of the humbling and awe that comes from being helped and loved so much.

2. We only have one vehicle, and Paul's mom is coming Thursday night to stay with the kids while Paul is in the hospital. Some friends called and offered us the use of their truck while they are out of town, so now I can leave my van for Paul's mom to use, and she won't be stranded at home while I'm at the hospital with Paul. (New prayer request: Parking the big truck!)

3. I did not yet have anyone coming to sit with me during the surgery. My dear friend and mentor, Jane, called last night and offered to come to the hospital to be with me while I sit and wait.

Bless the Lord, O my soul...

Another Trip to the Hospital

2011-12-21T08:15:00.001-05:00

It's already been an eventful week, but not in the "Christmas-tacular" way we had planned. Paul woke up Monday morning with another intestinal attack that culminated in uncontrollable nausea and vomiting by late afternoon. I called our doctor at about 4:30pm to see what I should do. He called the surgeon, and we were told to go immediately to the ER. They did a lot of blood work, put him on an IV, kept him overnight, and then released him to come home yesterday. They don't know why he got so sick, but the doctors decided not to move his surgery up. He's still scheduled to have his surgery on December 30.

I have to admit that despite the stress, there is a grace in all of this. He has been feeling so much better in the last few weeks that both of us had small lingering doubts about whether he should even have the surgery. The Lord used this most recent attack to show us both that the surgery is indeed necessary. I am firmly convinced that this is the route the Lord would have us take to try to find an end to the problems that Paul has suffered with for so many months now.

So now we are moving on toward Christmas, trying to keep our focus on Christ and the celebration of His birth, and praying hard that Paul won't have any more trouble before the 30th. The prayers of our family and friends are a great gift, and we are so appreciative of the love and encouragement that has been poured out on our family.

This morning I find myself even more thankful for Emmanuel-- God with us. It is a great comfort that we do not travel this road alone.

Update on Paul's health

2011-12-10T08:25:00.002-05:00

Paul has been dealing with some relatively severe intestinal issues since coming home from Iraq in 2009, and it was determined this week that he will need to have a portion of his colon removed. We are anticipating his surgery to be on December 30, and the surgeon told us to expect a week-long hospital stay plus several weeks of recovery. This is major, but we are hopeful that he will have a full recovery with no further symptoms after that.

Due to the large number of out-of state family and friends that we are updating about this latest development, I am going to use the blog to post updates when the surgery happens. We are grateful for the prayers of our family and friends. Please pray for the children as well. They have expressed some fear regarding the surgery.

For now, we are thankful to be looking forward to Christmas together. Our prayer is that the Lord would be magnified as we walk this next path that He has chosen for us. We know that all that comes into our lives is filtered through the sovereign, loving hands of God.

Math "Little Boy Style"

2011-12-05T22:39:00.000-05:00

Today's math lesson with my six-year old went something like this:

Math Book: "Tell a subtraction story from this picture." (The picture had 3 pineapples and 6 papayas.)

Isaac: "Once there were 9 fruits. The papayas wanted to wrestle with the pineapples, but then they got scared because the pineapples could knock them over, so they ran away. 9-6=3!"

Math "little-boy-style" is too funny! Where does he get these things?

Potato Chip Packaging and God's Sense of Humor

2011-11-30T08:51:00.007-05:00

I had no idea I had such strong opinions on potato chip packaging.

Yep, potato chip packaging.

When I was invited to take part in some paid marketing research about some potato chips, my only concern was the "paid" part. I've been praying for God to provide for us financially, and it paid $100! I couldn't believe that someone would pay me $100 to give my opinion on potato chips. I still laugh when I think about it. I could never even dream this stuff up. God providing through my opinions on potato chips.

So I went a couple of weeks ago, gave my opinions for an hour to the guy on the other side of the table, and surprisingly, had some strong opinions about the packaging he showed me. I never even tasted a chip that day, although it was a brand I've eaten before. That makes the story even funnier to me. It was all about the outside of the bags.

I left with my check, thanking God for providing in such an amazing way, and I thought that was the end of it.

Then a lady called yesterday from the same place. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, they videotaped the potato-chip-packaging-opinion-giving interviews. To make the whole story even more comical, the lady said that the tape ran out before my interview was done. They wanted me to come back and see if I could redo the last 10 minutes of the interview, and they would pay me the $100 again.

So today I'm going to give my last few opinions all over again...

and make another $100...

about potato chip packaging.

Who knew I had such valuable opinions? I sure didn't.

Only the Lord can dream up such ways of providing for our family. I just have to laugh.

In the Fire

2011-09-24T09:03:00.001-04:00

We are in the fire right now. There's no ignoring it, no denying it, and very little we can do about it but pray and trust and cling to Christ and each other. I don't know what our future holds, and quite frankly, the unknowns spark a range of emotions from being slightly unsettled to downright terrified. I have struggled to comprehend some of the difficulties we have experienced since Paul came home from Iraq-- mostly difficulties relating to his health issues and our own financial situation.

I know we aren't alone, even though the heart is often slow to follow the head. Christ said He would never leave us nor forsake us. God said in Isaiah not to be afraid because He had called us by His name and we are His. He promised that when we passed through the waters, He would be with us, when we passed through the floods they wouldn't sweep over us, and when we walked through the fire we wouldn't be burned, because we are precious in His sight. He said He knows our frame and remembers that we are dust. He said He would fulfill His purpose in us and be faithful to complete the good work He had begun.

So I cling to these promises like a child trying desperately to hang on to the monkey bars so she doesn't fall to the hard ground below. The Spirit supports me and brings encouragement, just as a parent holds the child onto the bars so they can make it safely across without falling.

There aren't too many people that follow this little blog, and I keep it mostly as a place to write down things that the Lord is teaching me as we step heavenward day by day. If the Lord happens to bring you to this post on this tiny blog, we would be grateful for your prayers for our family.

I do not know what God is doing, but I know He is doing something.

On that knowledge, I plod on...

All Grace Abounds

2011-09-18T16:06:00.002-04:00

II Corinthians 9:8- "And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work."

The following poem was written several months ago, and it is even more true today. Amy Carmichael said of II Cor. 9:8, "All means all, not some; always means always, not sometimes. Lord, today help us to live upon this all."

II Cor. 9:8
On hard days, Lord,
On good days, Lord,
You say, "All grace abounds."

In the light of dawn,
At deep twilight,
You say, "All grace abounds."

When in my life
Naught else abounds,
And I behold
Scant provisions,
scarce solutions,
the overwhelming impossible,
Even then,
You say, "All grace abounds."

Why, dear Lord?
Why does all grace abound?
Why do You make it so?
"So that,"
Two tiny words-
A purpose?
In Your sufficiency,
At all times,
In all things,
Good works abound.
Because--
You said, "All grace abounds."

Super Mom vs. Abiding Mom

2011-09-11T21:37:00.002-04:00

Our school year officially begins tomorrow, and I guess I have to admit that I have mixed feelings. I'm ready for the routine, but I also find myself wishing that summer was here for a bit longer.

We had a hard summer in many ways. The Lord especially taught me much about His expectations of me as a wife and mother versus my expectations. By God's providence, I came across a chart called "Super Mom vs. Abiding Mom" that has been very thought-provoking for me on this journey. It came from a homeschooling blog, but it's not just for homeschoolers. It is instructive for all moms. I share it here in the hopes that it might encourage someone else.

So for now I plod onward toward another school year, trusting the Lord to continue to teach me what it means to abide.

Morning Glories and Grace

2011-09-05T11:50:00.005-04:00

Sarah and I planted Morning Glory seeds this summer near a trellis we made with bamboo poles and twine. I had no idea how much I would fall in love with these beautiful flowers. The seed packet must have had a mix of colors, because we are now finding flowers of about six different shades of pink, white, and purple. They are just gorgeous!

And isn't it just like the Lord to teach me more truths about Himself through my garden?

I watch these beautiful flowers bloom every morning, and they only bloom for that day. By the end of the day, they are faded and wrinkled. They shine gloriously, and then fade as evening comes.

But then the next morning, more blooms have appeared, and I get to enjoy them all over again. I have come to love opening the curtains every morning just to see the lovely, bright flowers with their faces turned toward the sun.

At night you can see the next day's flowers tightly wrapped in the calyx, just waiting to burst forth into bloom, but then they are new flowers the next morning, repeating the cycle once again.

As I looked at them this morning, the Lord brought my mind to the mercy that is new every morning. His mercy is given for that moment-- for that day-- and I move through the hours that are filled with activity, responsibility, and sometimes great trial. By the end of my day, I am faded and shriveled and used up, and I crawl into bed praying for much-needed rest and new mercies for the next day.

And those mercies are always there-- those mercies that come fresh and new and bursting with life-giving beauty.

This morning that mercy came in the form of a realization that God's glory is stamped on even the smallest things. Those flowers are reminders that grace flows down. They are reminders that even tiny things like Morning Glories, with their short, insignificant little lives, glorify God perfectly by pointing to the Creator who fills me up and gives me the strength to bloom where I'm planted, with my face turned toward the Son.

I think that for the rest of my life, I'll always wonder if this is why they are called "Morning Glories".

Be Still

2011-09-01T08:52:00.002-04:00

Ps. 46:10- "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth.

Psalm 46:10

"Be still," God says.
"But, Lord," I say,
"I have so much to do."

"Be still," He says.
"Abide," He says,
"There's much I want to do in you."

Mental Aerobics

2011-05-26T01:17:00.002-04:00

We have just two more days of school left for the year! We are all anxious to spend some time doing the fun things that come our way this summer, and I'm anxious to get caught up on my house projects.

I've been doing a lot of thinking and evaluating over the last few days. What worked this year? What didn't work? How can I streamline my tasks? How can I be more organized? What should I plan for next year?

One thing is certain. With four students in three grades, I spend the day jumping mentally from...

...short and long vowels
...to division of decimals
...to botany
...to synonyms
...to Psalms and the attributes of God
...to prepositional phrases and dependent clauses
...to printing letters and numbers
...to the causes of the Revolutionary War
...to syllables
...to Bob Books
...to 3-digit addition
...to the Westminster Shorter Catechism
...and on and on and on!

The mental aerobics are exhausting and challenging to my feeble brain! Now if I could just burn as many calories with the mental aerobics as I would with regular aerobics. Wouldn't that be grand!

The World is in Bloom

2011-05-11T07:16:00.000-04:00

I absolutely love the moment when the stark, drab gray of winter is gone and spring makes its long-awaited arrival in my yard. Right now I have red tulips, yellow daffodils, pink and white bleeding hearts, and grape hyacinths blooming! Our pear tree and cherry tree are filled with beautiful white blooms, and an ornamental crabapple is right on the cusp of bursting out into a bright pink, breathtaking display. I could stand and look at these flowers all day long. What a lovely reminder of the paintbrush of God.

I wonder if He looks at the flowers blooming and laughs with great joy in the colors that He made? I am made in His image, and I find such pleasure in the hues and blooms, so I think He must. I can only imagine His happiness as He holds His glorious paintbrush and says to a tulip, "Here, little one. I'm going to paint you with orange and yellow, and the one who sees you will marvel at My design!"

Oh, how I love the spring!

I've come to realize...

2011-05-01T21:30:00.000-04:00

...several things in the last week.

1. Paper plates are worth the money. I would rather play a game of "Sorry" with my eight-year old on a Sunday afternoon instead of washing dishes.
2. It is bittersweet when your baby turns six.
3. It is even more bittersweet when that six year old loses his first tooth.
4. The thing I like most about my home is being there with the five people I love most in this world.
5. I need to focus more time and energy on the things that are unseen and eternal in my home instead of the visible and temporal. Laundry waits, hearts don't.

Lord, let me see what is important, and help me not to stress about the unimportant.

For Easter

2011-04-24T01:10:00.001-04:00

I think in paragraphs and stories. I long to spend hours writing, and then I somehow feel like the things I would write are too tender or too insignificant to share. The days go by, and the stories remain unwritten-- for now, at least.

My calendar has been full, our days have been busy, and the stress of life seems like almost too much sometimes. Even to say that, though, I know that so many have far more stress than I do. I have the responsibility of leading our homeschool co-op, and even that has been a really rough road lately. On this night before Easter, I'm just plain tired. Exhausted, really.

I don't say all of this to complain, but more to explain why I feel like Easter has come upon me suddenly this year-- without much stillness or time for contemplation. Here it is, the middle of the night before Easter, and I can't sleep, despite my exhaustion.

Were the disciples unable to sleep on the night before the Resurrection? What about Mary? On that dark night before the glorious dawn, what were they thinking? Was the stress of life almost too much for them? Had the events of life left them little time for contemplation? Were they even able to share the things they were thinking at that moment, or did they feel that those thoughts were either too tender or too insignificant? Were they full of fear and despair-- trying to face the reality that the One in whom they had placed their hopes and dreams had been nailed to a cross a few days earlier.

Ah, but then the next day everything changed. Christ was risen! The amazing truth that gives my current small difficulties some perspective is that my Jesus lives. I'm not alone, and He is not dead. I have a High Priest that is able to sympathize with my weaknesses. He understands that I get stressed, discouraged, hurt, and laden down with life. And He lives. He lives. He lives.

When life feels like I'm just slowly trudging uphill, He lives.

When I am heavy- hearted, He lives.

When I'm filled with joy or sadness or confusion or weariness, He lives.

He lives, and He gives me life.

He lives.

He lives.

And on that one truth I place all of my hope, because if Christ is not risen, then my faith is in vain. He lives. He lives on this night before Easter.

And my exhausted heart finds rest yet again.

A Fun Poem on a Cold Day

2011-02-02T15:24:00.003-05:00

We are snowed in right now, so I have been working in my house. I have been noticing all of the dust, and that set me to thinking about one of my favorite poems. Maybe it can bring some smiles on a cold, cold day!

Dust
Author Unknown

Dust if you must, but wouldn't it better
To paint a picture or write a letter,
Bake a cake or plant a seed,
Ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there's not much time,
With rivers to swim and mountains to climb,
Music to hear and books to read,
Friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world's out there,
With the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair,
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
Old age will come, and it is not kind.
And when you go-- and go you must,
You, my friend, will make more dust!

Adjusting to God's Plan for My Days

2010-11-27T12:27:00.000-05:00
It is two days after Thanksgiving Day, and I finally have a minute to sit down at my little blog for the first time in several days. The boys are watching football, my daughter has her play dishes spread out on a table in the living room, and we just got home from our first cider mill trip of the year-- on Nov. 27, mind you. I had planned to post something every day of November on my "Twenty-Five Days of Praise", but I have had to do some serious adjusting to God's plan for my November. My plan didn't match up with His, but His plan is perfect nonetheless. God sent several events, responsibilities, and people my way that I had not anticipated, and so my plans for writing every day had to take a back seat. I felt very sad that I couldn't keep up with it, but there were people and things that needed my attention more, and those things were God's plan for me. I would go to bed every night thinking about how there had never been time to write something that day, and I would just have to say, "OK, Lord, You know what my day held and You ordained all of that for today."

Someday I will have time to write all I want, but for now, I'm just going to have to be content with an "every-so-often" kind of blog. My blog writing may be every-so-often, but my God is a constant companion and faithful refuge. I'm so glad it isn't the other way around.

I continue to rejoice in the Lord's provision and His goodness to us. I am so thankful for my precious husband and my four beautiful children who love me and need me day after day. I praise God for the many family and friends that He has blessed me with-- friends and family that challenge me, encourage me, and love me despite my faults. We were blessed to spend Thanksgiving Day with three other families that, like us, do not live near their families, and it was a precious time of fellowship for this little "far-from-home" bunch.

So my "Twenty-Five Days of Praise" turned into just a few posts, but I learned a lot about the difference between my plan and God's plan. I can't fight against it when the days don't look like I expect them to look, but I can rest in the fact that God has perfectly ordained each interruption for His glory and my good. Actually, they are not interruptions at all, just differences between God's "To-do List" for my day and mine. Wrangling against it will do me no good, but accepting that God is writing the story of my life makes each day an adventure.

I'm so glad He is writing my story. He will do a much better job than I ever would. Let the next chapter begin...

Twenty-Five Days of Praise- Days Six through Sixteen

2010-11-16T15:40:00.000-05:00
When I set out to post about twenty-five days of praise, I had no idea that I was going to be overtaken by a bad respiratory infection. Consequently, I have been doing the bare minimum the last several days, and blogging has taken a back seat. By God's grace, I am feeling much better, and I am beginning to get caught up on all of the things that got set to the side during my illness. I was praising the Lord while I was sick, but I wasn't necessarily up to writing about it! I guess my plan was not God's plan.

Today I simply praise the Lord for His strength, his grace in my life, and His healing from this physical illness. It's startling to realize how much I take health for granted until I am sick. It gives me great compassion for those that live with chronic illness, and it makes me realize how blessed I am to have been so healthy for so long. I am also thankful for the ultimate healing that will come one day-- the healing that was purchased on the cross by my dear Savior.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits...

Twenty-Five Days of Praise- Day Five: My Husband

2010-11-05T19:17:00.000-04:00

Today I thank the Lord for my husband-- the love of my earthly life, my dearest friend, and the person I'd rather spend time with than anyone in the world. What a gift of grace he is to me. Paul loves me when I am lovely, and more importantly, he loves me when I'm not so lovely. He is the living, breathing love of Christ to me and our children day after day, and I'm very blessed to be called his wife. I praise God for the precious gift of a husband who loves Christ, loves me, and loves our children.

Dear God, I prayed, all unafraid
(as we're inclined to do)
I do not need a handsome man
but let him be like You;
I do not need one big and strong
nor yet so very tall,
nor need he be some genius,
or wealthy, Lord, at all;
but let his head be high, dear God,
and let his eye be clear,
his shoulders straight, whate'er his state,
whate'er his earthly sphere;
and let his face have character,
a ruggedness of soul,
and let his whole life show, dear God,
a singleness of goal;
then when he comes
(as he will come)
with quiet eyes aglow,
I'll understand that he's the man
I prayed for long ago.
   --Ruth Bell Graham

Twenty-Five Days of Praise- Day Four: An Advocate

2010-11-04T19:59:00.002-04:00
I John 2: 1-- "My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous."

There are many things I have learned during my years as the wife of an attorney. I have learned that it is hard to out-argue a man that is quite skilled at making valid arguments. I have learned that I am sometimes very quick to judge a situation when there is often much more there than meets the eye. I have learned much about the protections afforded an individual in our court system- even if the accused has pled guilty. Our constitution guarantees each citizen wise and competent counsel. Our constitution guarantees each citizen an advocate, whether they are guilty or innocent, deserving or undeserving, lovely or unlovely.

As Paul has practiced law throughout our marriage, I have observed first-hand what it is to have an advocate in a courtroom. He is often the only person pleading for the cause of an individual or speaking on their behalf. I think he especially loves being an advocate for those that truly have no other means of help. I don't often know much about his cases. Once in awhile, however, he is able to share a bit with me, and I am always amazed at how seriously he takes his job as an advocate.

In Job 9: 32, 33, Job speaks of God when he says, "For He is not a man, as I am, that I might answer Him, that we should come to trial together. There is no arbiter between us, who might lay his hand on us both." (ESV) Job is pleading for an advocate between himself and God, someone that might present his case and come alongside him. Really, Job is pleading for Christ.

I never expected to learn so much about the gospel being married to an attorney, but I am continually struck by the fact that I have an Advocate with God the Father. Despite my guilt, Jesus is my Advocate before God. As the hymn "Before the Throne of God Above" so beautifully says, He "ever lives and pleads for me". Not only do I have an Advocate, but he is a righteous Advocate that also took the punishment for my sin and guilt. He stands before the Father pleading on my behalf on the basis of His righteousness.

I am overwhelmed with thankfulness today for my Advocate, Jesus Christ.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
A great High Priest whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in Heav'n He stands,
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
   --Vickie Cook

Twenty-Five Days of Praise- Day Three: A Favorite Poem

2010-11-03T14:09:00.001-04:00
Psalm 89:1-- "I will sing of the steadfast love of the Lord, forever; with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations."

I have to admit it-- I love poetry. I have a few poem collections that I meander through quite often.

One of my absolute favorites is called Sitting By My Laughing Fire, a compilation of the poetry of Ruth Bell Graham. I also have several books that include the poems of Amy Carmichael, the English missionary that rescued girls from the temples in India and began the Donhavur Fellowship. For day three of the twenty-five days of praise, I decided to include one of Amy Carmichael's poems found in her book Edges of His Ways.

O praise the Lord, for it is good
   And pleasant and a joyful thing
To lift the heart as all men should
   Who have so dear a Lord to sing.

The number of the stars He tells,
   And calls each star by his own name:
No two of all His flowery bells
   Or leaves or grasses are the same.

So individual is His thought
   For all of us, did one let go
The hand of Joy, and sore distraught
   Forget to sing, His heart would know.

From rainbow did a color float,
   Or did a shining sun burn dim,
That were far less for Him to note
   Than dumbness of a child to Him.

O save from that! Let grateful song
   And jubilance of melody,
And loving merry-makings throng
   The road that leads us home to Thee.

Twenty-Five Days of Praise- Day Two: Citizenship

2010-11-03T08:47:00.001-04:00
Romans 13:1-- "Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority, except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God."

Today I sit here thankful for my citizenship. First and foremost, my citizenship is in Heaven, and I am secure because of that. I have always loved the verse in Psalm 20:7 that says, "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." I am thankful that no matter what an earthly government does, I serve the King of Kings-- and He is sovereign over all things including governments.

But does that mean that I have no responsibility here in America- in this time and place? I have always struggled with those that have the philosophy that patriotism as an American is incompatible with being a citizen of Heaven. As the verse from Romans 13:1 asserts, I am subject to the earthly authority that has been put in place by God. I am a citizen in America because God sovereignly ordained that, and I thank God for the freedom to speak, worship, and vote. I will vote today, because I have been given that right and responsibility, and I will tell my children what a privilege it is to vote my conscience and have some say in our government. All the while, I will pray hard. I will pray that God would have mercy on us as a nation. I will pray that my children will also have the opportunity to vote when they get older, and I will pray that Americans would come to realize that the solution to the majority of the problems we face is not found in government, but in Christ.

Today, I am exceedingly thankful for my citizenship and the right to vote, knowing all the while that every authority that exists has been instituted by God.

Twenty Five Days of Praise- Day One

2010-11-01T07:36:00.003-04:00
I haven't had much time to write often on this little blog of mine, but in honor of Thanksgiving, I am going to begin 25 days of praise until November 25. The posts might be about something that I'm thankful for, but they also might be a psalm, a poem, or a picture. They will all have one theme though-- God's great goodness to His children.

Today I begin by praising God for Jesus Christ and the salvation found in Him alone. On my own I am not deserving of anything but great punishment, and I have nothing worthy to bring to Him. I am full of sin and selfishness. It is because of His great love that He has called me and saved me. He picked me up out of the miry clay, set my feet upon a rock, and gave me a new song to sing. When I consider how sinful and unworthy I am on my own, what Christ has done for me by dying on the cross to take my punishment, and what I am in Christ- adopted, made whole, washed clean, and called a child of God- my heart wells up with thanksgiving.

Psalm 37:7

2010-09-25T14:56:00.003-04:00
My body sits so very still,
But not so- my insides.
They quiver, shake, twist, and turn,
My mind, my thoughts and stomach churn.
"Be still before the Lord,"- the Psalm,
"Wait patiently for Him."
Be still, my mind-
Be still, my thoughts-
While others see the outward calm.

Great God of the Invisible,
You know my heart is not so still,
And waiting seems unnatural,
Yet Your Word clearly marks Your will
For me- a deep internal rest,
Not just a calm veneer.
Your sovereign hand carved out this test,
Enable me to trust You here.

Monday Morning

2010-07-12T21:57:00.000-04:00
For Heather, Kristi, and all the other ladies I link arms with on this journey heavenward.

Monday morning, coffee brewing,
House is quiet, mind is stewing.
Lord, I have so much to do,
I knew I had to come to You.

My week is full, the tension high,
All that can wait- it seems that I
Have come to know, have come to see
This time with You- necessity.

The tasks bear down, the piles call,
Temporary, transient, earthly-all
Time spent with You to know Your heart
Turns piles into works of art.

As You teach me, this earthly home
Becomes a place to do Your will.
The highest calling, the noblest task,
With lives to love and hearts to fill.

Your sweetness, Lord. Your mercy, Lord.
Your goodness, Lord. Your grace--
Please fill me up on this full day.
With all my heart I seek Your face.

Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing?

2010-03-11T03:21:00.003-05:00
God did an amazing thing yesterday.

I shouldn't be surprised. He has proven Himself faithful over and over and over again. Yet somehow, I am still amazed to see Him work things out in such unbelievable ways.

When Paul got out of the Army last August, he had decided to go directly into the Reserves so that we could pick up medical coverage when he opened his own practice. We thought it would be an easy transition, but it ended up taking six months to get the paperwork straightened out. In the meantime, we had transitional coverage until the end of January.

Then that ran out.

We waited and waited and finally thought everything was taken care of...until yesterday. I was trying to refill a prescription when I was informed that we still had no coverage. The problem was that I only had six days of medicine left, and our coverage apparently doesn't start until April 1.

I called a pharmacy and discovered that a 14-day supply would cost $75. We knew we didn't really have any choice. We were going to have to pay the full amount.

I decided to call our doctor and ask if they had any samples. A sweet Christian nurse from the clinic answered the phone and listened to my story. A minute later she came back on the phone and said that they had one sample box I could have.

"How many days is that?" I asked tentatively.

"One month," she replied with a smile in her voice. "When do you want to come get it?"

The kids and I ate a fast lunch and drove right over to the office. When she handed me the box, I told her thank you and she said, "God is good all the time."

On the way home, Josiah asked to look at the box. I said, "Do you know what you're holding?"

"No."

"You're holding $150."

And then God said to me, "Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from Your Father...Fear not, therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows."

Amazing.

Our Latest Birthday Celebrations

2010-03-05T21:46:00.001-05:00
Micah and Sarah turned seven in February! Here are some pictures of them with their cakes! As you can see, the cake tradition continues, and we had a great time celebrating the birthday of our twinnies! They got the presents, but they are the gift!

Sarah wanted a garden cake complete with a pond! This may be one of my favorites! The fence is made out of frosted graham crackers, and the little girl is made out of gum paste.

On the afternoon of Sarah's birthday, Paul came home from the store with the pot of daffodils. You can't have a garden cake without real flowers too!

Micah wanted a football cake! As we were finishing up the cakes, Paul decided to make a frosted graham-cracker scoreboard. It is a little hard to see, but Michigan is beating Ohio State 77-7 with 7:07 left in the fourth quarter. We do bleed maize and blue in this house! The field is complete with yellow gummy bears to represent Michigan and red gummy bears to represent Ohio State.

Micah even wore his Michigan jacket for the picture!

Rudderless

2010-03-04T20:28:00.002-05:00
Paul called home one day last week to check in with me, and he asked how my day was going. I said, "I feel rudderless today. Absolutely rudderless." Then it dawned on me why I felt that way. I had stayed in bed later than usual and then one of my kids got up earlier than usual. I wasn't able to have the quiet time with God that has become like my very morning food over the last two years. No wonder I felt rudderless. The unfinished, most-important thing in my day was hanging over my head. I hadn't acknowledged the One that directs my steps, so I was completely lost. What a realization.

When Paul deployed, I very quickly learned that if I was going to have any joy at all through those twelve long months, I was going to have to start each day giving everything over to God. It became my habit and something that I actually look forward to each morning. What I didn't realize, though, is how much I had come to depend on that time. It is my "breakfast" of solitude, reflection, prayer, and listening to what God wants for my day (although it is always done with a cup of coffee in my hand!)

Sometimes the baby-steps of progress in my Christian life are so imperceptible that I hardly see them. What a grace that God would allow me to see how He has brought me along in my own personal walk.

I started the day rudderless. I ended the day encouraged and thankful. Onward I plod-- by God's grace and for His glory.

New Year's Greetings 2010

2010-01-03T19:54:00.003-05:00
Dear friends,

Paul and I want to take this opportunity to wish each of you a Happy New Year filled with the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ! The last year was one of many changes for us, and I invite you to go on a quick pictorial journey with us as we recap our last year and look ahead to the new year unfolding before us. With all of the adjustments and changes of the last few months, I haven't written nearly as often as I would have liked, but Lord willing, I will be adding to this blog much more frequently in 2010!

Josiah (9), Micah (6), Sarah (6), Isaac (4)

The year 2009 began with Paul at home for his two week R&R from Iraq. We had a wonderful time as a family, and we dreaded the good-bye that came all too quickly.

At the airport when Paul arrived for his leave

On January 8, Paul again journeyed back to Baghdad for another five months, and the children and I resumed our daily activities. To say that God was active in our family is an incredible understatement. There were many days that I got to the end of the day, positive that the only thing that had sustained us was the limitless grace of God. I can definitely look back and say that I tasted the sweetness of Christ like I never had before, and I came away from the year of deployment having learned much about God as an ever-present help and refuge.

In March my mother-in-law came for two weeks, and then my sister came with her two girls for two weeks. My mother-in-law even found time to paint murals on the basement walls! Both Heather and Betty were a great help, and their company was a great gift. Again, the Lord met my needs when I was very weary!

As April arrived, I have to admit that I've never been more excited to see spring come in all my life! The children and I began preparing for Paul to come home at the end of May, and on May 29 we left for Fort Benning, Georgia to meet Paul as he arrived home on the 31st. What a joy to be reunited as a family, and what a gift from God!

From Georgia we began a very long, very exciting road trip-- 8,134 miles to be exact! We drove from Georgia to Florida and spent ten days on vacation. We went to Disney and Sea World and loved every minute of being together. From Florida, we began a 4-day, cross-country drive to Seattle so that Paul could out-process out of the Army at Fort Lewis, Washington. After a week in Seattle, we drove to Denver for a few days with my parents, and then drove back home to Michigan. The kids are fabulous travelers, and we had a wonderful trip! We were gone a full month, and Paul was very glad when we finally drove back into his beloved Michigan! He was finally home for good! I posted numerous pictures of our long road trip earlier, so if you would like to see those, go here!

The rest of the summer was spent adjusting back to our life together, growing a garden, playing a ton of backyard whiffle-ball, and enjoying being together. Paul and I celebrated our 10th anniversary at the end of July, and his mom came to stay with the kids while we went to St.Ignace/ Mackinac Island and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan for five days!

The kids spent a lot of time foraging in the garden for sugar-snap peas and strawberries!

Paul and I at Mackinac Island

On August 1, Paul left active duty after more than eight years. The Lord made it clear that our time in the Army was finished, and we are excited to begin a new chapter in our marriage and family! Paul applied to transfer his law license from Colorado to Michigan, and in November, he opened his own law practice here in Rochester, Michigan! The Lord seemed to lead in this direction, and we are looking forward to seeing what he has for us in the years ahead.

I am in my fifth year of homeschooling our children, and I find my days filled with school, our homeschool group, and tasks at home. I am also directing the adult choir at our church. The choir is one of the sweetest groups of people I have ever known, and they are truly passionate about leading our church family God-ward as we provide a musical picture frame around the face of Christ! It is such a joy to be involved in this ministry.

Josiah is in the 4th grade now, and he loves books and animals. He just received an aquarium for Christmas, so he is the proud owner of some new tropical fish. He is a great student and is making wonderful progress in his education. I see the Lord doing much in his life right now!

Micah and Sarah are both becoming great readers, and they are doing well in 1st grade. Micah loves Legos and math, and Sarah loves dancing, singing, and writing. Micah is daddy's boy when it comes to sports, and Sarah is my constant little companion in all things girly!

Isaac is our spoonful of sugar! He loves Legos and Wii bowling, and he tries very hard to keep up with the big dogs (his brothers)! He will start Kindergarten in the fall of this year, although he has already caught a lot just listening to me teach the others.

As I look back on 2009, I have learned three main lessons. First, whether I can always see it or not, the Lord is active in the lives of each of His children. Sometimes it is easy to imagine that He hasn't done much lately, but when I was forced to look to Him more than I ever had, I found Him in even the tiniest details. Even when so many refuse to recognize His sovereignty, He is orchestrating every detail of life for His glory.

Second, I learned that I cannot calculate without God. The instant I started to imagine what might happen, or "forward-fear", I would lose sight of all of the ways God had been so near to me in the past. I had read many things about difficulties post-deployment, and while Paul and I had some adjustments to make, things really did get back to "normal" pretty quickly. We found that two people seeking to glorify God can overcome many obstacles with His help.

Third, I learned how very blessed I am to have my precious husband and children, extended family, and dear friends to link arms with on this journey heavenward. While Paul was deployed, he videotaped daily devotions for our children using a wonderful book called Training Hearts, Teaching Minds. He would mail me the tapes, and we watched them almost every night. I believe strongly that this made the deployment and subsequent adjustments so much easier for our children. They heard their dad pray over them almost every night, even though he was half a world away, and they knew that God watched over all six of us. Our family and friends came around us to "hold up our arms", and I can't praise the Lord enough for blessing us so abundantly.

The completed paper chain that grew around our kitchen while Paul was gone!

I don't know what this new year holds for our family, but I know that God is living and active and present. With much thanksgiving, we bless Him for caring for us in 2009 and look forward with expectancy to what He will do in 2010. We are thankful for each one reading this greeting, and we pray that the Lord will make His name great in all of our lives for His own glory.

Treasured Traditions

2009-10-14T22:33:00.010-04:00
I was recently asked to speak on traditions for a women's gathering. The following post is from the handout for my session. I pray it will be an encouragement to those that are looking for ways to build up God-glorifying traditions in their homes!

Treasured Traditions
“A Magnificat Morning”
October 17, 2009

Deut. 4:9- “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children.”

Psalm 78: 4,6-7- “We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and His might, and the wonders that He has done…that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments.”

Proverbs 17:22 -“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

I. Thinking through thousands of years of tradition—Looking back helps us to look forward!

A. My own definition:
A tradition is something we hold on to that points us to THE SOMEONE that holds onto us.

Something we hold on to…

Traditions exist in all cultures from all time periods.
Traditions are part of the human experience, based often on changing seasons or family history.

…that points us toward the SOMEONE that holds onto us.

There is great Biblical precedent for traditions. In Deut 4, God commands the children of Israel to talk about and pass on the things that He has done. He set up feast and holy days as days of remembrance. See also Psalm 78:1-7, Deut. 6, Deut 11:1-3, 7, 18-19. We can use traditions to help shape our family’s spiritual life!

B. What are the differences between habits, memories, and traditions?

Habits are things we do every day like brushing our teeth. They are automatic, but not always deliberate.
Memories are being made constantly, no matter what the situation. The brain is a never-ending recording device that takes in every detail of every moment. Memories are the backbone of traditions.
Traditions are deliberate, thoughtful ways to celebrate a family, culture, or belief.

For the Christian, traditions are more than making or preserving memories. They are about establishing earthly pictures that constantly direct our attention to God- His attributes, His Word, His truth, His sovereignty.

So if traditions point us to God, how can we fill our moments and memories to the glory of God? When do we do this? How do we start? Traditions are not just for our children. They point adults, grandparents, and singles to God too!

II. Sorting through thousands of possibilities for traditions in the future-- Isn’t “new tradition” an oxymoron?

A. The “When” of traditions?
1. Holidays- The word “holiday” comes from two words: “Holy Day”
2. Special days- Birthdays, Anniversaries, Family reunions, Weddings, Funerals, Vacations
3. Every days- Things we do daily in the life of our family.

B. The “Who” of traditions?
1. Immediate family
2. Extended family
3. Church family (worship service traditions, seasons in the life of a church throughout the year)

C. The “How” of traditions? Where do I start?
1. Be deliberate- Unless we plan ahead, something might never happen!
2. Be thoughtful- Start small with one or two things.
3. Focus on the treasure of Christ first and then the people in your life. Material things are largely unimportant in building up godly traditions.

D. The “What” of traditions- Some questions to get us thinking!
1. What is most important to me? My husband? Our family?
2. What truths of Scripture would I love to focus on in my traditions? (A favorite verse, a favorite hymn, a favorite spiritual memory or goal?)

For example:
a. We have a vase of stones and a journal on our entryway table. When God does something in our lives or provides for us in a special way, we put a stone in the jar and write the event in the journal. This comes from Joshua 4:21, 22a, 24b-

And he said to the people of Israel, “When your children ask their fathers in times to come, ‘What do these stones mean?’ then you shall let your children know…that the hand of the Lord is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever.”

b. My sister has small, square canvases on her living room wall. When someone comes over, they have the person sign their name and write a favorite verse. If someone comes that doesn’t know Christ, they have the individual write something they are thankful for! Their artwork is also a visible guest book and reminder of the things God has done!

3. What do I want my family to remember in 10 or 20 years? How can I pass on what I treasure to my family and others that I know?
4. What are the interests of my family?
5. What is one way I can plan for the upcoming holiday season?

III. Some of my favorite ideas to get you started!

A. Holiday ideas

1. Patriotic Holidays- (Even though patriotic holidays are not necessarily religious, they are great times for teaching a family about God’s gifts to our country and our civic responsibilities.)

a. Attend parades.
b. Send letters to soldiers
c. Make visits to the capital.
d. Read the Declaration of Independence together.

2. Easter- This is one of the most important Holy Days for the Christian. Our entire faith hinges on the Resurrection of Christ and His atoning work on the cross.

a. Celebrate Lent by giving up something in order to reserve extra time for Christ.
b. Start with seven lighted candles and gradually extinguish them in the weeks before Easter to show the darkness of sin. On Easter morning, all seven are lit again, signifying the risen Christ as the true light of the world.
c. Study various names of Christ.
d. Attend various Easter services (Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, etc.).
e. Think through special meals or treats. See the link for a recipe for Easter cookies at the end of this handout!

3. Thanksgiving- This is the only holiday we celebrate that has an exclusively religious origin. It is a wonderful time for reflecting on God’s blessings.

a. Fill a “blessing box” with blessings and answers to prayer all year long. Then take them out and read them before your Thanksgiving meal.
b. In my family, there was usually an extra place setting at the table that remained empty in honor of those that were not able to be with us that year.
c. We also all wrote messages on a Chinet plate for each person that wasn’t there, and then my grandma mailed them. I’ll never forget getting those plates when I was at college and couldn’t go home for Thanksgiving!
d. There are some wonderful hymns for this time of year-- “We Gather Together”, “Come, Ye Thankful People, Come”, “Now Thank We All Our God”.

4. Christmas- When we think of traditions, most people tend to think of Christmas first. What a glorious time of celebration as we remember the birth of the Savior! It is hard not to get caught up in the materialism and rush of the season, but if we are deliberate, we can institute some wonderful ways to reflect on Christ.

a. The beauty of many of the decorations can even point us to the beauty of Christ. In our family, we buy one special ornament for each child every year that helps tell the story of their life. They will take these with them when they get married. All of the decorations glow and shine, reminding us that Christ is indeed the light of the world.
b. Begin to research the origins of the different symbols of Christmas (i.e. Christmas tree, star, candles, holly, candy canes).
c. Some traditions can just be for the mutual joy and fun in a family, building togetherness and unity! We always buy new Christmas pajamas every year. They are the only present opened on Christmas Eve!
d. Plan special meals throughout the season. We have pizza on Christmas tree decorating night. We always have lasagna either on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day (it can be made ahead of time, thereby limiting the amount of time I spend in the kitchen on the holiday!)
e. Choose a new family to have over for a cookie night and get to know their story!
f. Celebrate Advent by lighting one candle on each of the four Sundays before Christmas and reading prophecies about the birth of Messiah. A fifth candle in the middle of the Advent wreath is the “Jesus candle” and is lit on Christmas morning.
g. Memorize and quote Luke 2: 1-18 together.
h. Create a Jesus tree with ornaments symbolizing names and attributes of Christ. I have also heard this called a “Jesse Tree”. See the link for Jesse tree ideas at the end of this handout!
i. Begin collecting nativities from around the world as a reminder that one day those from every kindred nation, tribe, and tongue will bow and say, “Worthy is the Lamb”.
j. Wonderful, God-glorifying music abounds at Christmas. Attend every concert and cantata you can possibly fit into the schedule!
k. Make a birthday cake for Jesus. The cake is chocolate to represent sin, covered with white frosting to represent Christ washing us white as snow. On the top of the cake place a star, an angel, a crown (He is the King of Kings), and a candy cane (shaped like a J for Jesus). Light a LARGE candle on the top of the cake while you sing a Christmas carol!

B. Special Day Ideas

1. Birthdays
a. Write letters instead of buying birthday cards. A handwritten note is like gold in this electronic age!
b. Make special meals, like birthday breakfasts or birthday dinners.
c. Begin a journal that you add to every year telling your child about how they are special and how they have grown that year.
d. If you like to scrapbook, make separate birthday books.

2. Anniversaries
a. Write a letter to your spouse sharing your memories and thoughts about the past year—what was special to you, what you learned, and how God worked in your lives during the year.
b. Watch your wedding video or look through your photos together.
c. Have a new picture taken of the two of you together.

3. Other Special days and Events- Things that happen once a year or even more infrequently such as weddings, funerals, family reunions, or family vacations are opportunities to cherish the gift of extended family. Be alert for ways to build traditions.

For example:
Family vacations or road trips-
a. Listen to books on CD together instead of everyone doing their own thing in the car. The Focus on the Family Radio Theater CD’s are fabulous.
b. I know a family that planned their family vacations for every year from the time their children were little to the year the last one graduates from high school. They save for these trips continually, and they picked the 10-15 places they most wanted to visit.
c. Our kids have fun bags that go along on every trip. Everywhere we go, we buy a patch, a key chain, or a pin to go on their bag.

C. Everyday Ideas- These are the things you do in your family that point you DAILY toward God and His sweet blessing of a family.

1. Periodically, we plan a surprise ride for a family fun time. We get everything planned and then run through the house screaming, “Surprise Ride! Surprise Ride!” Things we’ve done include going to get ice cream, going swimming at the YMCA, getting up early to go to McDonald’s for breakfast, or going to see a special movie.
2. Plan a family fun night each week and treasure that time.
3. Read books out loud to each other. I heartily recommend On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness and North! Or Be Eaten from “The Wingfeather Saga” written by Christian singer Andrew Peterson! For a list of other great books to read see the following website:
www.classical-homeschooling.org/celoop/1000.html
4. Play games or buy a large puzzle. Much deep and even spiritual conversation can take place while a family puts together a puzzle!
5. Family worship is one of the most important traditions a family can have. As soon as children can read, start them on the habit of reading Scripture aloud together.
6. Especially with children, a bedtime routine of prayers and special songs is a wonderful tradition!
7. Eat dinner every night in the dining room and regularly use the nice dishes. Why have them if they only come out once or twice a year?!
8. Even prayer before meals is an important tradition!
9. We have a magnetic clipboard with notebook paper that hangs on our refrigerator. We call it the “cute list”, and we write down all of the funny things the kids do and say. Josiah just turned nine, and he has 26 full pages. When we need a good laugh, we just start reading through the cute list! It also helps to remind us of our family’s history—where we have been and how God has brought us to where we are now.

Some of my favorite resources:

1. Treasuring God in Our Traditions by Noel Piper
2. Let’s Make a Memory by Shirley Dobson
3. Before and After Christmas- Activities and Ideas-Advent or Epiphany by Debbie Trafton O’Neal (daily activities to direct children’s thoughts during the Christmas season)
4. The Ballad of Matthew’s Begats by Andrew Peterson
5. Kids Love Michigan by George and Michelle Zavatsky (full of fun, family-friendly places to visit in our beautiful state)
6. For ideas for a “Jesus tree” or “Jesse tree”: http://www.crivoice.org/jesse.html
7. For a great Easter cookie recipe see the following website or do an internet search for hollow Easter cookies. http://www.allhomemadecookies.com/recipes/drop/easterstorycookies.htm

(Please link to this post instead of copying and pasting if you desire to use any of this material in print in any form!)

Josiah's 9th Birthday!

2009-09-12T09:35:00.004-04:00
Josiah turned nine this week-- on 9/9/09. He absolutely loves the old Star Wars movies, so he asked for a Star Wars cake. Here is a picture of him with the Millennium Falcon. As I was piecing it together to frost and decorate it, Isaac (who is four) looked at it and said, "It's the Mill... It's the Mill... It's Han Solo's ship!" I was really thrilled that it was immediately recognizable, even before it was decorated!

We had a great day complete with Josiah's favorite dinner-- grilled steak with baked potatoes (both white and sweet potatoes)! I can't believe he's nine!

Chocolate Kisses

2009-09-06T15:27:00.004-04:00
I have been praying all summer about this little blog of mine now that Paul has returned from Iraq. I know it isn't very significant as blogs go, but the Lord has used it in my own life as a written expression of the ways He is at work in our family. As I pray, I keep coming back to the idea of "Chocolate Kisses"-- small bits of sweetness from the Lover of my soul. Chocolate kisses seem to fit with the theme of "Chocolate Syrup and Cookie Dough", and I desperately long to see and savor the sweetness of Christ-- on good days and bad.

I will still share pictures of our family, but I also believe the Lord would have me share simple stories and small sweetnesses that He brings into my life as He continues the good work that He began in me (Phil. 1:6). It will be a written record of the ways He is molding and teaching me, and I pray that it might encourage a few people along the way. We are still adjusting to our lives here, and my posts might be few for awhile, but I will be able to start writing more once we get settled back into our lives together.

Chocolate kisses are small, and my entries will be short, but I pray they will be filled with the overflowing goodness of Christ. By God's grace and for His glory, I will taste and see that the Lord is very, very good.

The 8,134 Mile Road Trip

2009-08-21T10:09:00.014-04:00

On Friday, May 29, we started our four-week-long "road trip of a lifetime"! The children and I drove first to Fort Benning to pick up our dear Daddy who was just returning from Iraq. We picked him up on Sunday, May 31, and we all headed to Orlando for a ten-day vacation. We then drove from Orlando to Seattle with overnights in Illinois, South Dakota, and Montana.

While we were in the Seattle region, Paul reported to Fort Lewis, Washington, where he completed his paperwork to get out of the Army. (He is still in the Reserves.) We were in Seattle for a week, and then we drove to Denver to see my parents. After a few days in Denver, we headed for home and arrived exactly four weeks to the day from when we left.

All in all, we were in 18 different states and drove a total of 8, 134 miles!! The trip was an amazing experience, and we relished the opportunity to be together again. The Lord blessed us with safe travel and great family time. What a gift!

I hope you will enjoy this little photo album!

The first kisses from Daddy at Freedom Hall, Fort Benning, GA!

Daddy with all of his happy kids!

Daddy with a very happy (although teary-eyed) mommy!
Isaac wrapped up in his travel pillow on the way to Florida.
The boys with Buzz Lightyear at Magic Kingdom.
Our princess with a princess!
You can't see it in the background, but Micah's smile comes from his love of the ride "Splash Mountain", which he has now ridden 14 times!
Micah by one of the beautiful aquariums at Sea World. You can see a manta ray behind him in the tank.
Our kids up inside the viewing tube in one of the aquariums at Sea World!
Paul's parents came and spent several days with us in Florida. We had a great time with them, and they were glad to see Paul back safe and sound!
Josiah playing in the splash area at Sea World on a hot, hot day!
We spent two days at Disney's Animal Kingdom and three days at Disney's Magic Kingdom! Our entire family enjoyed it immensely!
Sarah with Grandpa in line at Animal Kingdom.
Isaac squeezin' the stuffin' out of Grandma!
Grandpa bought our whole family matching shirts before leaving Disney! It was fun to wear them together on our last day at the park!

As we drove across the country, we got to see several fun places and sights. Here is the first stop-- the Gateway Arch in St. Louis.
At the bottom of the Arch...
...and at the top of the Arch!
We rode on the little tram that is part elevator, part ferris wheel to get to the top. Here is Micah looking out over St. Louis. You can see the Cardinals' stadium in the background of the picture!
On our way through South Dakota, we stopped at Wall Drug for lunch. They had all kinds of activities for kids, so here we are searching for precious stones and gems in the mining area. The kids got to go into some little mines with head lamps on helmets and search in the dark for treasure. Here they are with sluice boxes, separating the dirt from the stones.
You can't drive through the Black Hills without stopping at Mount Rushmore!

I took this picture of the Garmin when we were finally almost to Seattle. It shows only 25 miles to our destination, but it also shows more than 4,000 miles driven and 60 hours of driving time since the kids and I left home on May 29. As for the max speed of 94.2 mph, all I can say is that we had driven through Montana that day. Anyone who has driven through Montana knows that it is easy to go that fast without even realizing it! We realized it rather quickly, but the Garmin still caught it, and now it is preserved for all posterity!
Daddy and Josiah playing chess at the Children's Museum in Seattle.
Beautiful Mount Rainier as seen from Fort Lewis. In the week we were there, it was only clear enough to see it on the one day I took this picture.
We went to the lovely home of Paul's aunt and uncle, Greg and Cheryl White, for dinner while we were in Seattle. Here are pictures of the kids canoeing with Paul's cousin, Sara.

At the top of the Seattle Space Needle with the beautiful city in the background.
We took in a Seattle Mariners game at Safeco Field while we were there. It was absolutely frigid considering it was the middle of June! Paul is hoping to watch a game at every ball park in America before the boys leave home! Mark off Safeco Field!
A few pictures of our happy travelers. They did so well on such a long trip!

Isaac playing dress-up at Oma and Opa's house in Denver. The kids really enjoyed being out of the car for a few days!
The Denver Museum of Science and Nature.
Putt-putt golfing with Oma and Opa! What a fun time! We also got to visit a candy factory in Denver and eat at The Old Spaghetti Factory! I miss Denver and its blue sky! You can take the girl out of Colorado, but you can't take Colorado out of the girl!

On our final stretch, we were able to meet up with my brother and sister-in law, Erich and Jen, in Omaha. Here are the kids with their sweet cousin Jack!
Isaac and Jack saying good-bye!

After Omaha, we drove home and began settling into our life as a family again! By God's grace we had a wonderful trip, and by God's grace, we travel on from here!

The Finish Line

2009-05-28T23:49:00.003-04:00

Here is the end of our paper chain. We leave tomorrow to go pick Paul up in Georgia!
An empty skittles jar that once held more than 6,000 skittles.

We are exceedingly thankful to God for carrying us every step of the way on this journey. A picture is worth 6,000 words of thanksgiving to a very Present Help.

It's Been Awhile...

2009-05-21T23:20:00.002-04:00
It's been awhile since I posted anything on my blog-- a month to be exact. I have been so swamped trying to finish school and get ready for Paul to come home that I haven't had time for much else. Isaac had a birthday (cake pictures coming soon!), and we have had a full schedule with church and homeschool activities. Despite the busyness, the month of May still seems in many ways like it is crawling along.

Paul will be home a week from Saturday! What a blessing! Then we have our vacation and begin a new life together. We even have a week-long anniversary trip coming up this summer! (Paul's sweet mom is coming to stay with the kids!) Strangely enough, we both keep calling it our "honeymoon". It almost feels like I'm getting married next week!

I wish I could describe all of the emotions that swirl in my head, heart, and stomach right now. I am excited and nervous all at the same time, and sometimes it all seems so paradoxical. How can I be so excited and yet so nervous all at the same time? I've pondered it a lot, but I still can't wrap my mind around it!

The Lord has given me opportunities to share some of the things He's done for us this year, and I am so thrilled to look back and see how He's met us at every turn. Psalm 46:1 says, "God is our refuge and strength; a very present help in trouble." I just noticed today for the first time that my Bible (ESV) has a little footnote saying that the word "present" can also be translated "well-proved". He has proven Himself to be very big this year, and I love the idea of God being a "well-proved" help in trouble. Thinking of God being "well-proved" reminds me of the following words from the hymn "'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus":

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him,
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er.
Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus,
O, for grace to trust Him more.

May the Lord continue to pour out His grace through all of the adjustments and changes that lie ahead. He is a very "well-proved" help in times of trouble (or in times of nervousness and excitement!)

First Blooms

2009-04-21T14:52:00.016-04:00
Just yesterday
Spring smiled at me
With cheery yellow face.
The winsome daffodils
   emerged,
Green arms stretched out
To mark their place.
As if God spoke,
"It's here. That sign of hope
You've waited long to see.
A little longer now, dear one.
My child, please trust in Me."
With dark of winter
   almost past,
The waiting almost done,
That ray of hope--
A balm to me,
My face turned toward the Son.
Just yesterday
Spring smiled at me
With cheery yellow face.
And warmth, sheer joy, delight smiled back
From a thankful heart
Upheld by Grace.

Our Skittles Jar

2009-04-06T16:39:00.007-04:00

When Paul was getting ready to deploy, I started looking for ideas to help the kids mark the passing of time. One idea I came across spoke of letting each child have a Hershey's Kiss every day as a "kiss from Daddy". We liked that idea, but because Josiah is allergic to milk, we came up with something a little bit different. I thought I would share it here!
Sometimes we like to call hugs and kisses "sugar", so when Paul left, we made the decision to let the kids have "sugar" from Daddy every night before they go to bed! They each get four Skittles per day. (One Skittle is like one potato chip-- it's impossible to eat just one!)
When Paul left, I bought a giant jar and filled it with Skittles. I needed four skittles each for four children for 380 days, so that came out to about 6,000 Skittles!!
I think it has meant the most to Isaac. He watches the jar like a hawk! When Paul was home at Christmas, Isaac asked him if he was home for good. Paul said, "When the Skittles jar is empty, Daddy will be home for good." Isaac responded so sweetly, "If I look in the jar and see only one Skittle, I will eat it so you come home!"
Here are some pictures of our Skittles jar!

This is the jar when we started. It was almost entirely full!

I took these pictures yesterday! When the jar is empty, Daddy will be home!!!
Not too much longer now! Just about seven and a half weeks!

10 years ago...

2009-03-28T00:05:00.002-04:00
...my prayer was answered. On March 27, 1999, I sat on a snowy mountainside at dawn in Buena Vista, Colorado, as Paul knelt down and asked me to be his bride. Absolutely no regrets.

Dear God, I prayed, all unafraid
(as we're inclined to do)
I do not need a handsome man
but let him be like You;
I do not need one big and strong
nor yet so very tall,
nor need he be some genius,
or wealthy, Lord, at all;
but let his head be high, dear God,
and let his eye be clear,
his shoulders straight, whate'er his state,
whate'er his earthly sphere;
and let his face have character,
a ruggedness of soul,
and let his whole life show, dear God,
a singleness of goal;
then when he comes
(as he will come)
with quiet eyes aglow,
I'll understand that he's the man
I prayed for long ago.
     --Ruth Bell Graham

"Forward-Fearing"

2009-03-19T11:01:00.005-04:00
I spent some time talking with two friends yesterday, one of whom was another Army wife whose husband is deploying to Iraq very soon. We started talking about how easy it is to imagine things that could happen in the future. Once we begin imagining these things, then our thoughts become filled with fear and worry-- what I will call "forward-fearing". One friend, Angela, brought up something that I had never really pondered before, but it has been on my mind ever since.

When we forward-fear, we are imagining what could happen and our reaction to it, but we imagine it completely based on our own ability to handle a situation. One of my favorite passages is Hebrews 4:15-16-- "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."(NASV) One giant problem with forward-fearing is that it occurs in the mind absent the grace and help that God would be giving us if we were really going through that situation. God tells us in those verses that in Him we will find grace to help in the time of need, not in the time we imagine a "what-if". We are to take no thought for tomorrow, so forward-fearing is a sin and a lack of faith in GOD's ability to handle whatever situation comes into our lives.

This has been a great truth to digest, because it is easy to let my mind run away, especially right now with my husband gone. However, I am commanded to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Three truths stop my "forward-fearing". First, nothing happens outside of God's control of even the tiniest details. Second, He will never leave me or forsake me. And third, whatever comes, I can draw near with confidence to find mercy and grace in any situation or need. I won't go through anything without the grace of God sustaining me.

What a great blessing to ponder today!

Eleven weeks from today...

2009-03-14T10:31:00.008-04:00

...we will drive to Fort Benning to meet up with the love of my earthly life! Only 77 days left on this journey!!!! God has been so faithful, and I've tasted His sweetness like never before!

The adventure won't end in 77 days, however! A whole new life awaits us. The Lord has shown us clearly that our time in the Army is drawing to a close, so when Paul returns to America, he will be getting out and looking for a job in the civilian world!

The plan as it stands right now is for the kids and I to drive to Georgia to pick him up on May 30th or 31st. We will immediately drive to Orlando for a family vacation, including time at Disney. Some people in our church own a condo down there that we are renting for ten days! I absolutely cannot wait!

Paul is technically stationed out of Fort Lewis in Seattle, so after our vacation, he has to get to Fort Lewis to out-process out of the Army. When faced with another separation, we made a big decision. We will all drive together from Orlando to Seattle so that we can stay together. It should be the road trip of a lifetime! Paul bought me a Garmin for all of my traveling (a very gracious thing for my navigationally-intelligent husband to do for his poor, easily-flustered wife), and the other day he was joking that when we input the address for Seattle as we leave Orlando, the Garmin will just flash a message that says, "Are you people crazy?!" My only sadness with this plan is that Paul isn't here to see the looks on people's faces when I mention that we are driving from Orlando to Seattle with four kids! It is priceless! (The kids ARE good little travelers!)

So that is the plan. Once we finish up in Seattle, we will make the long drive home and start our new life together. To say I am looking foward to it is the understatement of the century! Oh, to be a family again!

Here are some recent pictures of the kids:

Josiah was trying to show his muscles!
Sarah decided to cook one day while listening to some tunes.
She had my ipod shuffle hooked to the top of her tights under her dress!
Micah is the lego king in this family!
Isaac routinely sticks his sword cover in his pants
to help with the quick draw!

God continues to meet our needs and give rest when I feel too weary to continue.  Paul's mom came for about 10 days, and it was a tremendous blessing to have her company and help. She even painted murals of a castle and sailing ship on our basement playroom walls. What a gift!

Day #279 with 98 days to go!

2009-02-28T21:39:00.010-05:00

Just before I put my children to bed tonight, we put the 279th link on the paper chain that is growing around our kitchen. Long ago it grew too long to get it all in one picture, but here are some recent pictures taken in the last couple of weeks!

I completely underestimated what a blessing that paper chain would be to me. It started as a way for the children to visually mark the time that daddy was gone, but it has become a powerful reminder of the way God has carried us through each day. There have been many days that I have come to the end of the day with absolutely no idea how we made it-- except for the grace of God that He poured out on our family that day. Now as I staple each link onto the chain, I am compelled to praise God for bringing us through yet another day without daddy here.

In My Utmost for His Highest,  Oswald Chambers says, "What makes God so dear to us is not so much His big blessings to us, but the tiny things, because they show His amazing intimacy with us- He knows every detail of each of our individual lives." I have seen this vividly demonstrated countless times in the last 279 days, and I would have to say that if I've learned anything, I have learned much about depending on God to meet my needs instead of depending on my husband. It has always been very easy for me to run to Paul for help instead of running to the Lord.

I have seen the Lord in so many little details this year, but I just had to share this quick story...

I have always wanted a quilted Vera Bradley bag, but I could never justify the cost. They come in a myriad of colors and patterns, and they are quite expensive and boutiquish! I never told a soul-- even Paul- about wanting a one. It just seemed like a frivolous expense, and I am very content with the bags I have. But still-- all those cute, happy, bright colors!

In May, before Paul deployed, we went to visit his grandma. She is a fabulous seamstress, and she has helped me start learning to sew. While we were there, she and I took a trip to a fabric store for some things she needed. I saw this beautiful blue and yellow quilted fabric (I LOVE blue and yellow together!) and decided to sew my own summer bag. Grandma talked me through the project, and I eagerly purchased the fabric planning to get started as soon as Paul left.

After Paul deployed, though, I had to come to grips with the fact that I was not going to have time to do much of anything recreational this year, much less sew a bag. I was so sad not to make my cheery, quilted bag, and I often looked longingly at the material sitting in my bedroom closet. I just had to keep telling myself, "Not this year. Not this year," all the while swallowing my disappointment. I would tell myself, "The Lord knows. The Lord knows."

Every Christmas, we draw names for gift-giving on Paul's side of the family, and this year my sister-in-law, Darcie, had my name. On Christmas morning, I opened her gift, only to be struck absolutely speechless. When I finally could speak, I sat there looking in the box saying, "No way! No way!" She had given me a blue and yellow quilted Vera Bradley bag. I had never told anyone about wanting one, and the only person that knew about the material in my closet was Paul's grandma. The LORD knew it was there, though. Here are pictures of the material I bought and the bag Darcie gave me. I cry even as I write this because I am still so amazed. It is like the Lord said, "I know what is in your heart, and I know what kind of year this has been. Do you trust Me to work it all together for good?"
"What makes the Lord so dear to us is not so much His big blessings to us, but the tiny things, because they show His amazing intimacy with us- He knows every detail of each of our individual lives."

"O taste and see that the Lord is good"...even on day #279.

Our Twinnies are Six!

2009-02-10T18:45:00.000-05:00

(click to enlarge any picture!)
Micah and Sarah with their cakes!
Sarah wanted a jewelry box cake this year!
The top was a sugar cookie, and the cake was filled with all kinds of candy jewelry!

Micah wanted a "rock castle" cake with a dragon and knights!
The turrets and towers are ice cream cones, and the stones are marshmallows sprayed with black food color spray.

It doesn't seem possible, but Micah and Sarah turned six today! We celebrated their birthdays this past Saturday with their Uncle Dan, Aunt Darcie, Uncle Tim, Aunt Jessica, and cousins Emma, Sidney, Addison, Jill, Noelle, Scott, Allison, and Kelly. What a precious time to be with family!

In keeping with our tradition, the twins had special cakes! They always get to choose the theme of their cake, and I had the distinct honor of creating their cakes by myself this year. Paul and I always do it together, so I missed him terribly, but Paul helped with ideas from afar! These cakes are just one more thing I didn't think I'd be able to accomplish this year, but by God's grace, we had a great celebration!

Eight months!

2009-01-30T20:52:00.001-05:00
Just a quick post today to proclaim God's goodness as we passed the eight-month mark for this deployment this last Monday. Sometimes I have no idea how we all make it to the end of the day, but by God's grace, somehow we do. The weariness has set in, and I am continually amazed at how the Lord provides what I need when I just don't feel like I can keep plodding forward. A recent example-- I was struggling with frustration over homeschooling this week. After begging God for wisdom (He promised to give it generously and without reproach! James 1), the name of an older homeschooling mom from church came to mind. I called her to see if I could make a phone date to talk with her after I got my kids into bed, and she ended up driving quite a distance to bring me a mocha and talk in person that night. Her words were, "I will be there in an hour with coffee and the Holy Spirit." She was a tremendous instrument of grace, and I cannot begin to adequately thank the Lord for her. She helped me remember why I homeschool in the first place-- something I was struggling to remember in the midst of the weariness.

So the Lord keeps pulling us through, day by day. How would we make it without Him? I honestly don't know. I'm very, very thankful I won't ever find out. He said He'd never leave me or forsake me.

For now, we plod on toward the nine-month mark!

Seek Me like that...

2009-01-20T18:59:00.000-05:00
Psalm 63:1-- "O God, You are my God; earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh faints for You, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water."

Every new year I ask the Lord for a verse that can be my theme for that calendar year. As we approached this January, I began praying for that verse. The verse written above was very present in my mind: "O God, You are my God; EARNESTLY I seek you..." (emphasis mine). The verse the Lord gives me is always providential as the year unfolds, and it is starting to become an adventure in my own heart to see how the Lord will use a particular verse. Last year's verse was Ps. 73:26-- "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." At the beginning of 2008, I wondered why the Lord would give me that verse, but on December 31, 2008, I knew that I had needed that ballast when my heart and flesh did fail often, even daily, through a very difficult year. The Lord graciously never lets me see ahead, but looking back I always see His providence in the verse He selects for me.

So what about this year's verse?

This last December, as I was trying to think of a gift idea for Paul, I decided that I would transfer many of our old videotapes onto DVD. Paul has a DVD player in his office in Iraq, so I knew it was a gift he would enjoy! Our old 8mm camera had broken, so I spread the word among some friends that I would like to borrow one. Sure enough, one family from church brought me theirs to borrow the next Wednesday night, and I was sure I could give Paul a really precious gift!

That night I went home, put the kids to bed, and started searching for the old videotapes. I thought I knew where I had put them, but when I looked, they were nowhere to be found. I was literally up all night, searching and crying as I tore the basement workshop apart looking for the lost tapes. I was frantic. I was very concerned that all of our video memories-- the kids' births, their first steps, their little antics-- were gone.

I think the stress of the last seven months all culminated in that one night. I had finally hit my breaking point, and I cried for hours. I could not imagine what had happened to those tapes. I felt crushed and bewildered. Where could they be? I couldn't even begin to imagine.

I finally gave up my search-- exhausted and spent emotionally. I had spent too much time looking for them already and the search was just going to have to wait until after Christmas. I resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't be able to make the DVD's for Paul after all.

Paul arrived home on Christmas Eve, and we had a wonderful Christmas together. The only thing he REALLY wanted for Christmas anyway was just to be with us, and God gave us that gift! Those missing tapes were never far from my mind though, and I was itching to get back downstairs and resume my search.

A few days after we made the jump into 2009, my dear husband agreed to spend a couple of hours with me in the workshop, sorting things and giving me some direction on the piles, bins, and boxes. We have never lived in a house longer than three years, so I've never had the opportunity to collect and store and pile. However, we are nearing three years in this house, and stuff has started to accumulate. Coupled with my rampage through the workshop in search of the lost tapes, that space was an absolute disaster.

Paul and I went downstairs, put on some music, and got started. With each box I opened, my heart sank a little more because I still hadn't found those tapes. I was beginning to run out of places they could be. I was even crying again, but my rational husband kept saying, "They've got to be here somewhere."

After two hours of working, Paul took the kids to go do some errands before dinner. I set a timer and decided to search for another half hour. I started into the "keepsake" boxes where all of the "memories" are stored-- the place I thought I put the tapes in the first place. That would make sense, right?

I came to one last box-- a box I had searched in four times already, and the place I thought I had put the tapes last summer. There, at the bottom, were all of the videotapes-- right where I had thought they should be all along. I had looked in that box, dug through the box, practically torn the box apart, but I had missed them during my frantic search in December. I haven't lined up the dates, but I think they are all there-- about 15 of them. I was absolutely stunned.

As I stood at my kitchen sink a few minutes later, I began asking God what He wanted me to learn from this whole experience. Why wouldn't I have seen them? That was where I thought I had put them originally, and I had looked there so many times. How could I have been so blind? How did I not see all those tapes? Was there a reason He didn't allow me to see them that night?

The Holy Spirit had one phrase for me: "Seek Me like that. Seek Me like that."

I have only heard that phrase once before. Several years ago, a friend in a Bible study gave a testimony about losing her wedding ring diamond while she was out shoveling snow. As she frantically searched through sparkling snow for the lost stone, the Holy Spirit had clearly said to her, "Seek Me like that."

I haven't thought about that testimony in a long time, but when I asked the Lord what I was supposed to take from this, He VERY CLEARLY reminded me of that phrase--"Seek Me like that. Seek Me like that."

"But, Lord, I dug through the dust and cobwebs and old memories and accumulated junk like a mad woman. I was frantic and unconcerned about anything else but finding those tapes. Why didn't I see them then? I have thought about them constantly."

I was sobbing by that time.

"Seek Me like that. Seek Me like that."

OK, Lord, I'm listening. I think I finally understand...

"O God, You are my God; EARNESTLY I seek You..."

Back to the Five of Us...

2009-01-09T20:02:00.001-05:00
Paul left again today after fifteen wonderful days at home on leave, and it is now just the five of us again for several more months. It was so hard to see him go. The good-byes are very draining. I relished just being a complete family again-- doing typical family things. We didn't do a lot of extra things while he was here, but we had a great time together. We especially enjoyed the gift of celebrating Christmas as a family! The other highlight of the last two weeks was taking the kids on a road trip to Great Wolf Lodge. We had a fantastic time, and Isaac was just big enough to go on all of the slides in the water park! We made some precious family memories those days. The balm to my heart today has been the hope that the next time I see my dear husband, Lord willing, this deployment will be finished.

As I beg God for grace to sustain us through this continued separation, I continually reflect on four verses. They are verses the Lord has given me over the last few years as I have sought a theme verse for each new calendar year. They all speak to me about who I am in Christ and the joyous blessings He bestows on me as His child. I would like to share them here as I begin this new year. The parts in bold print are the phrases that have come to mean so much-- my "ballast phrases" on long days. If you have a "ballast verse or phrase" that sustains you, I would love to have you add it in the comments at the end of this post!

John 15:14-16--"You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you."

Psalm 73: 25-26-- "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Hebrew 4:15-16--"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Jude 24-25--"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

May the Lord continue to make His name very great as we plod on day by day.

New Year's Greetings

2008-12-30T17:22:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! Greetings to our family and friends in the name of Christ!

This has been a very difficult year for us, yet we have tasted the sweetness of the Lord like never before. We praise Him for His goodness to us-- both in sending Christ and in taking care of our entire family. We pray this greeting finds all of you well and experiencing the new mercies given daily by the Lord.

Paul with the kids at the airport on Memorial Day.

Paul was deployed to Iraq on Memorial Day, and the year has been one of intense loneliness, stress, and adjustment for our entire family. Our church family has truly upheld us through this time. Paul's aunt, Jessica, has also come regularly to help me despite having her own large family, and my own parents spent two weeks here around Thanksgiving, supporting and encouraging me immensely. We are so thankful for all of them.

I approached this Christmas season very weary, yet I am constantly encouraged by the little things the Lord does to remind us that He is intimately acquainted with every detail of our lives. I could write pages and pages about the ways He has shown Himself to be more than enough. God has grown our marriage abundantly as we have had to rely solely on Him for comfort when our mate was so far away. He has increased our friendship with each other in ways we never would have dreamed, and that is a very great blessing indeed.

I am able to talk to Paul often and we e-mail regularly-- not all Army wives have such luxuries, and I am very thankful. The children love to e-mail him as well, although the younger three dictate their message to me as I type, and then they spend much time punching in "x's" and "o's" themselves before clicking "send". Paul always writes them back right away, and it is just precious. Paul has also done a tremendous job of continuing to lead our family spiritually. He videotapes daily devotions using a great resource based on the Westminster Shorter Catechism called Training Hearts, Teaching Minds by Starr Meade, and then he sends the tapes to me. I play "Daddy's devotions" at night before the children go to bed. Having Paul's continued leadership despite being so far away is a gift beyond description, both to the children and myself.

We are all thrilled to have Paul home for two weeks over Christmas and the New Year! Please continue to pray for Paul as he serves the Lord in Iraq. The days are long and lonely, and I know he misses us very much. Cards and e-mail are a great gift to him. Lord willing, he will be home the end of May 2009. We do not know where the Army will send us next, so we are waiting and trusting that the Lord knows every detail yet to come.

Heidi and Isaac in September!

The children have done fairly well, although the stress of deployment has taken its toll at times. I am still homeschooling-- this year with three students! I also have the joy of directing the adult choir at our church this year. I always have visions of completed photo albums and completed sewing projects, but for now, we are plodding along by God's grace day by day. The projects will just have to wait for another season of our lives.

Josiah-8 years old!

Josiah is now 8 and in the 3rd grade. He has become an excellent swimmer this year and also spends much time curled up with a book. He worked his way through some unabridged classic literature like Swiss Family Robinson and Treasure Island this past fall!

Our twinnies are 5!

Micah with a model truck he built!

Micah is 5 and is loving kindergarten! He has also become a great swimmer! He is very precise and affectionate, and loves K'nex and Legos especially!

Our "Curly Girly"!

Sarah is 5 and loves Kindergarten and swimming too. She also took some gymnastics classes this year and is a great helper around the kitchen. She is more of a free-spirit, dancing and singing all over the house!

Isaac at swimming lessons!

Isaac, our little laughter, is now 3 and LOVES to make us laugh! He likes anything in the "potato chip and cracker" food group, and he is a real snugglebug! I enjoy that a lot!

The kids and I at family camp!

The children and I spent three weeks on the road this last summer, covering 2600 miles, as we went to family camp at Scioto Hills Baptist Camp and then traveled on to Myrtle Beach to spend two weeks there with Paul's parents. They were a tremendous encouragement and generously did everything they could to lighten my load and give us a nice vacation, despite Paul's absence. We then had the opportunity to meet up with Paul in Virginia for a few days in early November when the Army sent him to America for a class. The children are all great little travelers, and the Lord carried the five of us and Paul more than 15,000 miles total that week without a single problem-- yet another evidence of God's grace!

Just a few weeks ago, as I wandered around a store trying to gear up for Christmas shopping, I was struck by the thought that a thing far, far worse than living without Paul here for so many months would be living without Christ. You are all very dear to us, and we pray that He will make His name very great in your life as we all plod on toward Heaven. May Christ be more than enough for you now and throughout 2009!

Truth and Trash Bags

2008-12-03T21:57:00.001-05:00
Handle-tie trash bags... I love them. Oh, the feeling of pulling those slick little plastic ties out of the top of the bag and tying it up so nice and neat. I detest twist ties, and even tying the top of the bag shut can be a real challenge if the bag is too full. But handle tie trash bags... Ahhh. With the amount of trash we generate in our family, tying a trash bag is a big thing to me.

Do I buy handle-tie trash bags, though? No. Will I ever buy them again? No. Tying a regular trashbag has now become an act of worship in my life. I don't think I could buy the others if my life depended on it.

How could I ever worship God with the ordinary and mundane task of tying up garbage? Can God be found in the most simple of tasks-- a re-orienting of my life and focus throughout the daily drudgery of chores? Can God use even the most common things to teach us great truths about Himself...to teach me that I am not my own, but that I am bought with a price?

My story about trash bags goes back several months to the time before we found out that my husband Paul would be deployed to Iraq for twelve months. Our pastor was preaching on Daniel 1:8 where Daniel purposes in his heart that he will not eat the king's food. I have always heard it preached that this decision was based on the fact that the food would have been served to idols first. While that may be true, Babylonian culture would have dictated that EVERYTHING be served to idols, including the vegetables. Daniel went to the king's schools and wore the king's clothes. So why did he reject the king's meat and wine in favor of the vegetables?

Yes, Jewish dietary laws may come into play, but my pastor asked these important questions--"What if Daniel chose the very mundane ritual of eating to continually remind himself that he belonged to Yahweh? What if he purposed to live in such a way that there was no question who his God was?" Simply put, in a culture full of idols and ritual religion, would dedicating one daily task to his own great God be enough to constantly remind himself that he did not belong to any other? Would it tell the God-ignoring culture around him what, or for that matter, WHO was most important to him?

I listened to that sermon and began to mull it over in my mind. "Is there anything that I could deliberately give up daily to remind myself that I belong to Yahweh?" I began to pray that the Lord would show me what could become "the king's meat and wine" in my own life.

Fast-forward a month or so to April 2008 when we knew with certainty that deployment was the next challenge appointed for us. As the reality began to sink in, I realized how much life would change. In fact, there was one huge task that Paul had done regularly since our twins were born that was going to fall to me when he left: grocery shopping.

Now, I can shop for groceries, but with so many little ones at once-- four children in less than five years, to be exact-- it was just easier for Paul to go to the commissary or grocery store on his way home from work. He also loves the challenge of finding the best deals. He was happy to help, and I was happy to let him!

As we talked through the changes that were about to come, Paul said one day, "Sweetheart, I'm sorry that you will have to do all of the grocery shopping." I then teased my deal-loving husband, "That's ok. Now I can buy handle-tie trash bags!" Throughout our marriage, we have had an ongoing joke about those same wonderful bags, but since he did the shopping, I was content to let him bring home the cheapest flat-topped bags. It really didn't bother me, and he knew I was teasing him to say so. He then retorted back to me, "Well, I'll just buy you twelve-months-worth of regular trash bags before I leave!" We had a good laugh and went on with our day.

Over the next few days, the Lord began to prick my heart about the way even something as insignificant as a trash bag could become an object of disrespect in my marriage. Even though I was truly teasing Paul, could that become a tool for Satan to use down the road as he craftily drew my attention to myself, whispering, "When your husband was gone, you got to buy whatever you wanted, but now that he's back..."? I so badly wanted to uphold and respect Paul's leadership in our home while he was gone so that it wouldn't be such a hard transition when he came back home. I know my own sinful potential for enjoying being in charge. Does the curse in the Garden of Eden come to mind? While he was gone, I was going to be responsible, but not in charge, and I needed to live that truth.

So I finally had the answer to my prayer about the "king's meat and wine". Trash bags. Plain, ordinary, flat-topped, cheap trash bags. I could worship the one true God every time I tied a trash bag. I could be reminded of I Corinthians 6: 19-20 which tells me the amazing truth that I am not my own, I am bought with a price. I am to glorify God in my body and in my spirit, because they belong to Him.

So now every day I tie the bag, and say the verse, and let the Lord re-orient my perspective. It has not always been easy. At times, it has been very difficult to be reminded that I don't live for myself. The Lord continues to gently lead me down the path toward godliness, although I have so very far to go and spend most days just plodding along by His grace. Truth and trash bags-- two seemingly unrelated things that had a head-on collision in this Army wife's existence.

When Paul deployed, I decided to keep track of how many trash bags I would tie throughout the year he's gone. I may have missed a few here or there, but at the time I write this, I am up to 198 with six months to go. Almost two hundred reminders that I am not my own. Two hundred opportunities for the Lord to remind me that He bought me and I exist to glorify Him.

Handle-tie trash bags... I love them, but I am learning to love Christ and His claim on my life more. Can you worship with the mundane task of tying a trash bag? I sincerely believe that you can.



Our Birthday Cake Tradition!

2008-09-22T20:57:00.000-04:00
It has been a tradition in our family for several years to make any style birthday cake the children want, starting when they turn three. Paul and I have always done it together, and we try as much as possible to make almost everything edible. With Josiah's birthday recently, I had expected to make his cake by myself, so I spent a lot of time mulling over his choice-- a jungle cake. Then the Lord allowed Paul to be home for Josiah's birthday, so we once again had the joy of constructing a cake together!

Eventually the kids are going to come up with an idea that goes beyond our cake-decorating ability, but so far, we have been able to have some great celebrations. They really look forward to it! They even talk about their next birthday cake choice all year long, sometimes starting the day after their birthday as we sit around the table eating leftover cake!

(To see some pictures of our past cakes, see the slideshow on the left-hand side of our blog entitled "Cakes, Cakes, and more Cakes!" So far we've made a polar bear, a fire engine, a T-rex, a princess, a crocodile, a race car, a pink pig, a tank, a tiger, a princess castle, a globe, Mack from the movie "Cars", and the jungle cake shown above!)

Why chocolate syrup and cookie dough?

2008-09-15T22:58:00.002-04:00
Why is our blog title "Chocolate Syrup and Cookie Dough"?

On the day Paul left for Iraq, I had to run to the store for a few things. As I walked down the ice cream aisle, I realized that my husband was the one that usually bought the fun foods. I tend to buy the sensible ones! It struck me that life without him here was going to be a little like plain vanilla ice cream--still sweet, but not nearly so delectable!

When I got home, I told him about this revelation and then said to him, "You are my chocolate syrup." Our son, Micah, thought that was so funny-- daddy being mommy's chocolate syrup! From that conversation was born our blog title. I love chocolate syrup, and Paul loves cookie dough! We are trying with God's help to cherish the sweetness of each other even though we are so far apart!

A long silence....

2008-09-15T21:27:00.001-04:00
It has been a long time since I added a post to this blog. We had a busy summer and now we are settling back into our school routine.

Paul was home for three days this last week-- a huge blessing! We celebrated Josiah's birthday and spent time together as a family. What a great time to be together!

I will try to add posts more regularly now, along with pictures. I am also planning on adding sections about Paul's traveling companion (a stuffed beagle named Scout) and all of the things the Lord is teaching us through this deployment!

May the Lord make His name very great!

First e-mail to daddy!

2008-06-13T16:11:00.000-04:00
Josiah sending his daddy the first e-mail message!